~J*~ -- Blogger Extraordinaire

Eff Blogger.

2010-04-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Tumblr is where it's at.
Joey's Tumblr.

I love you all so, so much.
Visit me there?

Just know when that glass is empty, the world is gonna bend.

2010-03-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's been easier. Well, some days have, anyway.
I mean, it has been three months. It should be pretty easy by now.
I read my last post and realized how vulgar I was.
I apologize.
But I'm just a naturally vulgar person. I get it from my mother.

I don't understand the way my mind works sometimes. I'm so in love with the Ex, and yet I'm so upset because his current boyfriend is somewhere where he can't come back from until April. Why am I so upset for him? Why do I want him to be happy, and yet I'm so upset that he's not with me?

Why can't I just win for once?

I'm just ready for these five months to fly by. I'm 99.9% sure I'll be attending Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York this fall - not that far from the city at all - and I'll be able to find someone with relative ease.

And I'll be able to completely take my mind off of the Ex and his new Me.

/whine.

This Saturday, there's a chance I'll be seeing Chelsea Handler at DAR Constitution Hall. Any idea how much I love her? Any at all?

She's so funny, it's stupid.

It's getting to a Lady Gaga level, which is very dangerous.

But I think it's only because I'm reading her new book.

Speaking of the Gagster, that's my title credit.

So Happy I Could Die - Lady Gaga.

You're welcome.

Time to Get Personal -- Part Two.

2010-03-08T12:45:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of feeling this way about myself.

I'm not fat, but every time I eat, I feel absolutely revolting. And if I had enough self control, I'd stop eating altogether. I'm sick of feeling repulsive.

The Ex has a boyfriend before I do. He's moved on entirely. He's not coming back this time - at least, not now, not for a long time. Every other time, he's come back. Now he's officially moved on.

Anyway.

Someone else already wants him, likes him, has him. And then, just a few days ago, some random cute guy says hi to him, out of nowhere. Doesn't even know him, just taps on his shoulder and gives him a grinning hello.

Not to mention an ugly motherfucker at school has a boyfriend, and I know damn well I'm not ugly.

Which leaves me with the question - What the fuck is wrong with me?

I really just don't understand. He's already over me and moved on. He's already found someone else, someone else is already taking my place in his heart, in his mind, in his arms, in his bed. No one wants me.

I don't fucking get it, and I want someone to explain it to me.

I'm tired of sounding like I'm always having a pity party and going on about how I hate myself and I'm tired of waking up every morning.

I want to know what's wrong with me.

I want the universe to give me a fucking sign.

I'm so sick of this.

Time to Get Personal.

2010-03-07T16:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a while.

And I think it's time to get very personal.

My relationship has been over since about Decemeber, and I'm pretty sick of not being over it. I'm sick of every movement he makes making me fall more and more in love with him, when I'm trying to not feel this way anymore.

We are best friends. I can't just leave him, not be around him, because he still wants me to be around.

The dilemma: his new boyfriend.

As of almost exactly a month ago, he started seeing someone else. I didn't know the person, so I really don't have a reason to dislike him. And I really don't have a reason to dislike the ex, either. Because he didn't do anything wrong. He thought he didn't want a relationship, and then found someone else that he really likes and care for.

He's seventeen. We're in high school. I'm graduating, and he has another year. Did I really expect him to stay committed to me from high school til the end of time?

He's made promises that he wants to keep, but every time that he's with the other boy, it's like... those promises fade more and more. And I'm trying so hard to make myself be okay with that. Because, really, I think it's time to let go and move on.

The hard part is figuring out how.

Never have I felt so much pain in my life. I didn't think I'd fall in love at age seventeen, and I don't care if you think that's impossibe - I know I did. And I know I have my whole life ahead of me, blah blah blah. But I really just don't know what to do with myself. Never in my life have I wanted to just self destruct so badly.

I know how pathetic and horrible it sounds, and I know I look like a complete attention whore right now. But I just... I don't really know what to do with myself. I can't take anyone's advice, because even if it is amazing advice - which it all is, really - I can't take it. Because... why? Because I'm a masochist?

No. Because he's my best friend, and I'm his. And I can't just leave him, in any capacity. He's falling for someone else, and I'm sitting here watching and dying over it.

I just need to know how to let go without losing him.

And I really don't know how anymore.

I never thought I'd feel this way. At least, not so soon.

I guess it really was so foolish of me to believe in forever.

I'm fucking seventeen.

The Defining Line.

2010-01-22T08:52:00.000-08:00

There's something I've been wondering since about freshman year in high school. Having a serious relationship, as off and on as it was, did not change that.

Is physicality the defining line between relationship and friendship?

I don't want to believe this, but it seems like everyone else does. I even posted a question on my long-dead advice blog about it, saying that, no, it isn't. But I don't have proof of that.

What if all that sets apart a friendship from a relationship is sex? And, obviously, more intense feelings, but... regardless, that just doesn't seem like enough to me.

I can't explain it.

I hope someone can.

Because I'm tired of wondering this.

Time for Google.

~J*~

/neglect

2009-12-16T12:52:00.001-08:00

Okay, so, since I like, neglect the $#!t out of this blog, for all of you J O E Y addicts out there, I'll give you my Tumblr again.

But yeah. Um. Okay. MUSIC WEDNESDAY. :)

Ke$ha

So I always promised myself that I would never do "Music Monday" (or any day of the week) on any artist that's overplayed on the radio.

(Seriously, do you know how many times I would've done Lady Gaga by now?)

(Legit.)

But I can't help it. And no, I haven't only heard her radio-hit, "Tik Tok," so I at least sort of kind of know what I'm talking about when I say that Ke$ha's music is so freaking catchy. I went on her Pure Volume account and listened to her four other tracks, and I must say that I would not mind SPENDING ACTUAL MONEY on this CD. Really diggin' her music.

And that's all there really is to say on that matter.

_____________

In other news.

Monday, December 14, was my one year anniversary with Boyfriend. Granted, things are really complicated right now. But I've been promised forever, and I trust him with my life. So I believe it.

We're just... not entirely commited right now. And I can't expect him to want to be at sixteen (going on seventeen). Even I really don't.

Well, I do. But I know I'm going to want to date other people. But I know all I'll be seeing is him.

UGH.

/convolutedfeelings.

~J*~

Music... erm... TUESDAY.

2009-12-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

I forgot again.

The Dresden Dolls

Okay, so they're not exacty new on the scene. But they're still fabulous. I binged on them a while ago, and now I'm falling in love with them again. I was listening to their beautiful song, "Boston," one night, because it's somewhat applicable to my current situation. And then I just started listening to all of their CDs. And I fell back in love.

This cabaret rock duo has since split up, but that doesn't mean they're not going to potentially reunite. Amanda Palmer has come out with her own album, which is beautiful, but I don't enjoy it quite as much as her music with Brian Viglione.

Please listen to them. They're a couple of GODS.

~J*~

S N O W F A L L.

2009-12-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

The snow is absolutely GORGEOUS.

The first snowfall of the year.

How romantic.

I'd love to be cuddled up under a blanket with someone watching movies right now.

Buuuuuut....... Bleh. Let's not go there.

It's not really a bad "bleh." But it's a kinda eh "bleh."

But anyhoozits. I'm falling back in love with the Dresden Dolls. It's kinda crazy. I think they're going to be my next Music Monday. I just Tumbled about them a little bit, too.

So Monday through Thursday, I did really well with eating and working out. And then Thursday night I had McDonalds D: But I think I ate less than I usually do when I go there. Kind of. And then Friday I didn't get to work out. And I ate Burger King. And chocolate. And then today I ate like, five pieces of pizza.

So much for losing my pudge, eh?

I'm really upset that tomorrow's going to be forty degrees and sunny. The beautiful snow is all going to melt. I think I'm going to hang out with Chessie again. Chessie = my friend Francesca. But everyone calls her Chessie. So yeah.

I have the worst writer's block. So I'm about to read some stuff on a writer's forum and hopefully get inspired. Because I'm writing a story that's like, really intriguing me, and I want to WRITE it, but I don't know if I cannnnnnnn. D:

~J*~

A Series of Heartfelt Letters, "Clever Girl Goes Blog" Style - Part Deux

2009-12-03T12:25:00.001-08:00

Dear Blogger,

I love you. And all of my readers that come with you. But I'm kind of starting to hate you. I've trapped myself in this really lame style, and I can't get out of it. And I enjoy my Tumblr style so much more.

Oh well. I won't desert you.

Love,
Me. As always.

_______________________

Dear Christmas,

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I FUCKING WANT!!

Sincerely,
Someone who has no idea what they fucking want.

_______________________

Dear Weather,

I'm sick and tired of this back and forth nonsense. Please make up your mind. Will you be too lovely to be winter? Or will you be too cold for the ninth circle of Hell? I'd really appreciate it if you could either settle on a proper winter temperature, or be abnormally tropical.

Sincerely,
Someone who's going to get sick from Mother Nature's menopausal mood swings any day now.
_______________________

Dear Photography,

I think this project is going to suck. Considering I don't really admire anyone. I just love people. So my "Someone you admire" project is going to be about someone I love. And the essay will be phenom.
Mkay?

Sincerely,
Someone who can't think of a witty name for this entry.

______________________

Dear Heart-felt Letters,

You're a lot of fun to write. I should do this more often.
*sigh*
If only I was clever.
If only.

Sincerely,
Non-Clever-Boy-Goes-Blogger-Then-Tumblr.

_______________________

~J*~

Ad Canvassing Win? (THE END OF NABLOPOMO)

2009-12-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

So, you can tell I celebrated the end of NaBloPoMo yesterday by... not posting :) Hehe.

Anyway, I went ad canvassing yesterday afternoon with a classmate of mine and I'm not sure whether or not it was a success... We left contracts and newspapers at four places, and... well, I guess they'll contact him if they want. The teacher, I mean.

Life is so crazy right now.

Well, not right now. Well, kind of. But college is going to make the other "L" word much more difficult. The one that's not life.

(Not talking about lesbians here.)

I'm trying not to think about it.

But I can't help it.

You know?

When you want something to work this badly, you can't help but think about it - and how things could go horribly wrong.

~J*~

Ad Canvassing Fail?

2009-11-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

So I hate my journalism teacher.

It's like, definite now.

First, he makes the entire class stay after school until six o'clock once a month and expects everyone to arrange their own rides home. Even though not everyone can drive. And I don't know about everyone else, but my mom is losing pay so she can leave work early to come get me.

Second, he gets mad at one of my friends for not being able to stay until six o'clock because she has to watch her one year old sister. Very cool.

Third, me and a couple friends formed a group to go ad canvassing - in other words, to go around shops and ask managers if they want to take out an ad in the school paper - at a shopping center near my house. These friends can drive, and I can walk to the shopping center.
Does he even give us a chance to suggest this?
Naw.
He gives us a shopping center near the two friends' houses, and neither of them want to give me a ride.
Of course, they don't tell me they can't give me a ride until eleven o'clock, which was when we were supposed to be meeting.
And now one of those friends is vehemently denying the fact that we decided on the easier shopping center, but whatever.

It really doesn't matter, I guess.

Just a bunch of bullshit.

I hate that teacher, and I'm really starting to hate the class.

~J*~

I'm Buying Plane Tickets to Illinois for June/July 2010. Mkay?

2009-11-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I think I'm going to save up about $275 for a plane ticket to Illinois to visit my bestest friend that I've neverever met before.

Anyway.

So I went Black Friday shopping with Boyfriend yesterday, and it was just like any other weekend at the mall. The crowd wasn't that bad. It was only bad for the people on methamphetamines that went at like, five in the morning.

But I got two people Christmas presents, and I have like... two more to go.

And I still have like, 55 bucks to spend :D Woo!

I'm gonna get myself a resistance band jont to work out. Because um... there's this amazing boy that has an equally amazing body that I feel very out-of-shape next to.

And I just ate one of the most fattening things in the world, so I need to go on like, a twelve hour walk.

FUCK MY STOMACH PUDGE.

:(

~J*~

This is My Post For Tomorrow

2009-11-26T16:49:00.000-08:00

So Thanksgiving was not bad. At all.

I went to my dad's for the first time in eight months. And it was as if nothing had ever happened. But I think I trust him a little more now. More than I did for a while. Which was not at all.

So now that that bullet has finally been bitten, I might start going over there again. And Boyfriend isn't entirely thrilled with that idea. Honestly, I'm kind of anxious, too. But I guess... we'll just see what happens. Which has been my philosophy for life lately. We'll just see how things go.

So yeah. Turkey Day is over, and I get to see Boyfriend tomorrow, all day. I miss him. Which sounds odd, considering I see him every day at school and talk to him every night. I dunno.

But yeah.

So everything was pretty... okay.

~J*~

2009-11-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

HAPPY
THANKSGIVING

I hope everyone's holiday is absolutely wonderful.

And I hope you all have something amazing to be thankful for.

My Thankfulishness

-Samantha Jean PENGUIN (Last name has been changed)
-Lilian Nichole VOMITEY (last name has been changed, and I probably spelled the first two names wrong :D)
-Megan SLUTHAUSEN (do I really need to keep repeating myself?)
-Francescaaa Gurllll.

-My Amazing Boyfriend-

Have fun devouring your poor, innocent turkeys, you all.

I know I... won't.

Haha.

I can't wait to be a vegetarian.

~J*~

A Bit of News

2009-11-25T15:40:00.001-08:00

I guess posting twice in one day makes up for my lack of posting yesterday.

Um, I'm kind of cheating on Blogger a little bit.

Joey's Tumblr

...

Yeahhh.

I'll still post here!

Probably more personal stuff will go here, and then just other random things regarding movies, music, and just little ramblings will go on Tumblr.

I kind of like it better than Blogger, actually. The set-up is much more... organized.

I love all you Blogger people still.

And I'm not going anywhere!!!

But for all you class of '09ers that I've discovered love my little annoying rantings and ravings, you might wanna follow that jont, too.

Mkay?

I'm not letting this fame get to my head, am I?

~J*~

The FAME.

2009-11-25T09:16:00.000-08:00

(Totally ignoring the fact that I'm horrible at this NaBloPoMo nonsense and didn't post yesterday.)

So apparently, I'm a wee bit for famous than I thought.

THE CLASS OF 2009 LOVES MEEEEEE.

:)

Today is, as you know, the day before Thanksgiving, and we have one of those bullshit half days high school students haven't really seen much of since their pre-secondary-school days. So a lot of --

BREAKING NEWS

I just received a tweet from Semi-Precious Weapons that today is their LAST DAY IN THE RECORDING STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGNEWALBUMNEWALBUMNEWALBUM SQUEEEEEE.

--graduates came to visit their favorite teachers. In second period journalism, a girl whose name I WISH I knew (sorry, mysterious fan D:) told me that a LOT of last-year seniors read my blog. Like, a LOT. And they get all excited when I update.

DO YOU KNOW HOW FAMOUS I FEEL?

GAHHHHHHH!!!

YAY CLASS OF '09! YOU'RE SO MUCH COOLER THAN THE CLASS OF '10 BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES MOSTLY KINDA!!!

I wish I was a junior ><

Anyway.

So yeah, that takes care of that :)

Um, would someone mind telling me why I have a really weird taste at the back of my throat after I eat or drink anything? Because I'm a little concerned.

But yeah. Uhm. No school for two days :) But something very scary/exciting is happening tomorrow.

I'm seeing my dad for the first time in almost eight months.

I'm going to his house for Thanksgiving, and I'm really anxious, but I think I'm ready.

Wish me luck?

And then the rest of this little mini-break should be chill. Boyfriend's house Friday, and then ad-canvassing for the school newspaper with cool people on Saturday or Sunday. Hopefully, I'll be able to do Christmas shopping one of those days. My BFFL tried to get me to agree to wake up at like, four in the morning to hit all the Black Friday sales.

Pardon my French, but EFF THAT.

So yeah.

That's... about the height of it.

YAY.

~J*~

PS: You need to check out "Monster" by Lady Gaga. NOW. It's like crack.

Ohhay, Let's Take a Sick Day Out of a Two and a Half Day Week.

2009-11-23T11:01:00.000-08:00

Of course, last night, I felt like shit, and this morning, I woke up feeling worse.

So I didn't go to school, and I only have two and a half days of school this week.

Plus I'm just not a happy camper right now.

Suffice it to say that I'll never make anyone happy, and I'll probably die a miserable old cat lady.

With a penis.

Anyway.

On with the Music Monday.

Regina Spektor

Okay, so this woman is pretty much perfect. She mixes her upbeat melodies with beautiful ballads, and all of the lyrics are incredibly clever and have a deeper-than-what's-on-the-surface meaning. The music is just fantastic, and Spektor is very good with her fingers - on the piano, that is.

My favorite album from her is called "Begin to Hope," but the one pictured above is called "Far." They're both amazing, as is her older one, "Soviet Kitsch."'

(Don't sue me if I got the spelling wrong. But I'm pretty sure I didn't.)

Definitely check Regina Spektor out. Her new... I don't know if it's a single, but there's a video for it... well, whatever, it's called "Dance Anthem of the '80s." It's very cute. As are most of her other songs. A song that I find very powerful from her "Begin to Hope" album is called "Samson." Definitely listen to it - it'll tug on your heartstrings.

~J*~

Boring Friday, Exciting Saturday

2009-11-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

Okay.
So you know how I said my mom was at a concert Friday night and I was supposed to hang out with Francesca.
Yeah. Didn't happen. 'Cause Cescie girl lost her phone.
-_-
*Smacks a bitch*

So I was at home. Alone. For all of Friday night. Talking to Nikki for about three hours about how pissed off we are for being in similar situations. I ordered myself a pasta bread bowl from Dominos and watched I Know Who Killed Me, and I don't care what anyone says - I love that movie.

But yeah.

Last night was oodles of fun though. KaraKabob had one of her numerous, epic parties. And I kissed a girl. And I didn't really like it. And I kissed a boy. And it was kind of amazing. But it's been that way for about... 11 months and 7 days now, so I'm not TOO surprised. Haha.

I'm so hungry right now, though. I want another bread bowl. But it's 10:03 AM. And we're going to the store. And I really don't want to. So I might not.

OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MORE GUM TODAY!!!

THANK JESUS. I'm running so low.

~J*~

My Lollipop Just Cut My Lip D:

2009-11-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

So my mom is going to a Bruce Springsteen concert tonight.

And I don't know if I'm getting out of the house or not.

But I really need to. Because I can't be home alone all night. So, probably I'll be with Francesca :)

I know this is such a bullshit post, but I just really wanted to whore the new Gaga video, for those that haven't seen it, because it's really effing epic.

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Seriously.

EPIC.

~J*~

I Have No More Stamps D:

2009-11-19T11:57:00.000-08:00

I have two stamps left.

I need three for my UMD application.

...FUDGE.

Now it's going to stress me out until like, this weekend, when I get stamps and I can friggin send in the application and GAHH.

Honestly, I don't think I'm going to apply to any other schools. Like, the three in-state ones are fine. Everything else is just too much money.

So I realize that I have forgotten Music Monday yet again. And I know it's like, three days late. But... here ya go.

La Roux

I don't really listen to this techno-poppy duo all that much, but I DO have the above-pictured album, and I have heard most of it. Their songs are very catchy, and the beats just make you want to get up and dance. The lyrics of some of their songs are really pretty, but mostly, they're just good dance beats. The singer's voice is definitely unique. I'm not talking Semi-Precious Weapons unique, but it's different.

Anyway, this is a very good dance-type-music band, and they're definitely worth a listen.

~J*~

Towson U.

2009-11-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

I applied. For Towson University. And now I'm really anxious.

And, of course, I need to apply for more schools, but for the applications alone, it's forty-five-freaking-dollars, and another ten to send them my SAT schores.

WHAT THE EFF IS THIS SHIZ?

Does it really cost money to receive an application online? No. What about receiving SAT scores online? Shouldn't cost money for that, either.

So, again - WHAT THE EFF. Isn't it bad enough that colleges range between $15,000 and, like, $50,000 a YEAR? Do we REALLY need to pay for applications? NO.

Ugh. Everything should just be free. Money makes everything so difficult.

So I started my Salisbury application, and again, I need to pay forty five bucks before it can get sent in, another ten for my SAT scores to get sent in.

I don't want to ask my mom for this one, because I'm going to apply for at LEAST three more after this. Maybe I'll ask my dad. Who I actually spoke to yesterday, and it was not that awkward at all.

But yeah.

I'm going to try to finish most of this Salisbury app tonight, and get UMD done tomorrow... hopefully. Those are all my in-state schools.

THIS IS TOO DIFFICULT.

And, on top of that, I need to take pictures for photography, walk a dog, and... JUST GAH.

~J*~

C O L L E G E.

2009-11-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

I know I'm horrible at this NaBloPoMo shiz.

But I have a really good reason.

At least, it's really good to me.

I went to Boyfriend's house on Friday, and stayed until about 10:30 last night :) Well, I didn't STAY, because me, him, and his mom went on a visit to Salisbury University, and... well, it's changing my mind a little bit about college.

I wanted to go to the local community college. It's one of the top ten in the country, and it's just... cheaper. But visiting a college, it's making me want the whole experience. The whole, four-year college experience.

Problem is, I'm going to need a LOT of grants and a LOT of scholarships.

And loans. Ugh.

The only thing about going anywhere farther than the twenty-minute-down-the-road state university, or the other twenty-minute-away college, is being far away from everyone I care about.

Namely, Boyfriend.

After the visit to Salisbury yesterday, I started thinking about how hard it's going to be for us to go to seperate schools - probably. Hopefully, we'll end up at the same place, but probably not. I don't know. I just... don't know. I'm really scared college is going to break us. You know?

Yesterday was our eleven months. It was one of our few month-iversaries that I got to spend with him. And it was absolutely perfect. I don't ever want to lose that.

/saddness.

But yeah.

Anyhoozits.

I need to get out of my house. Like, now. I need to just move out and live with people that actually care about me and don't treat me like shit, like my friends, or Boyfriend, or something.

I need to go to C O L L E G E.

~J*~

Ahem.

2009-11-12T12:06:00.001-08:00

Sorry about yesterday.
It was a pity party over here.

Anyhoozits.

This NaBloPoMo is kinda killing me. Just a touch. But coffee cake takes away the pain.

So, Saturday, I'm going on a college visit. "But, Joey, you're a SENIOR. Shouldn't you have done that LAST YEAR?" Well, yes, kind sir or madam, but you see, this is my BOYFRIEND'S college visit. And it's our eleven months. And this was already planned, so this is all we could do together. But yeah. :)

Except for his mom's going to be there.

But oh well. So's his best friend. Which is cool, I guess, 'cause we're pretty close. Ish.

But yeah. There was a lot of drama for me to be able to go. My mom threw a hissy fit because she thought she or my dad should be the one to take me, which, yeah, it's true, but this isn't MY college visit. It's a college I might possibly look into after two years at the local community college, but this isn't MY college visit.

And yet, still, drama. Drama. Drama.

My mom's not exactly the best.

(Understatement of the century.)

But, brownie points for her that she's letting me go. So yeah. It's kinda a special day. And yeahhhhhhhh.

I have nothing else to ramble about right now. I have to walk an 80 pound chocolate lab in the cold, windy rain. So I guess I should get crackin' on that. UGH.

~J*~

I Just Want...

2009-11-11T13:00:00.001-08:00

...to be happy.

Is it too much to ask?

How Can Anyone Even Think That Infidelity is Okay?

2009-11-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

Like, it boggles the mind.
Why on earth would you cheat on the person you're with? Like, if you're not happy with them, then get out of the relationship. Don't betray their trust. I don't care if they're a straight-up bitch. Then GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. Infidelity should never be an option.

I'm not saying it's totally unredeemable, but it makes you lose a whole lot of brownie points. Like, I'm sure there are some cheaters that are nice people and good friends, but it just makes them completely untrustworthy.

I just can't understand the mindset, you know? Like, what would drive you to do that? Just get out of the relationship. I just... I can't understand, and I can't imagine how bad that would hurt.

And it's mostly boys. Boys are such jerks.

Anyway.

I have to go back to school at seven tonight for some financial aid workshop for college. Ugh. I don't understand why it can't just be free, like public school. Why does getting somewhere in life have to be so ludicrously EXPENSIVE? Ya know?

But yeah.

Well, at least I get some time to actually stuff my face, unlike yesterday, where I went hungry for almost twelve hours D:

Ugh. Eff senior year. It's wayyyyy too expensive. I like the class of '11 better, anyway.

Please don't jump me.

~J*~

So I Effed Up NaBloPoMo For Two Days

2009-11-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, let's start off with Music Monday.

POMPLAMOOSE

They're so CUTE.

Boyfriend introduced me to them. They're on Youtube and MySpace and they're a really cute duo, and not really well known. On their Youtube, they have countless covers, as well as original "videosongs," which is, basically, a music video in which you see every single instrument used in the song at least once. As I've said, they're not really well known, and I'm not sure if they're on any download software except Limewire, but they're really cute, and really catchy, and you should check 'em out.

Anyway.

Next order of business.

THE FOURTH KIND.

It was pretty creepy. But it wasn't terrifying. But it was really creepy. Like if you think about it, it's creepy. 'Cause I believe in aliens. And this one girl at school was like "I think it was demons." But no. Shush your Christian self.

Anyway.

Uhm.

...

I need to think of something to blog about to make up for my two day absence, but I can't sooo...

OH WAIT.

Three hours after school today.

NOT FUN.

Well, it was actually a little less, because I left early, but it was for journalism, and it was actually kind of productive, but still, I was effing STARVING.

And now my head kind of hurts.

So now I'll leave you to your regularly scheduled programming.

~J*~

Fastest Post Ever (So Far)

2009-11-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is going to be a five minute post, because Penguin - yes, Penguin, remember her? - have to go pick up her little sister from the bus stop.

HELLO. HAPPY DAY FOUR OF MY UNOFFICAL OFFICIAL NABLOPOMONESS.

I barely made it. But I did. So take that...self?

I'm kind of irritated, once again, about journalism. I wrote an article about Paranormal Activity and they took out my really cute last paragraph, and put in another paragraph about how the actors were on the Leno show. I mean, I don't mind, but like... Iunno. I liked the way I ended it. And they cut it out. And it was really cute D:

Oh well.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Okay.

Gotta jet.

<333

~J*~

NaBloPoMo is Very Hard to Do When You're Grounded From the Computer.

2009-11-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

But, luckily, the lady whose dog I walk has a computer.
So take that, overbearing, controlling mother :)

So I'm kind of irritated.

The head of the journalism class or whatever at school is kind of on my ass about not having enough quotes. And paste-up is on Monday. As in, the paper is coming out next Friday. And she's JUST letting us know. Furthermore, no one would reply to our emails, and no one was coming to where the club that me and this guy were writing the article about, so we couldn't exactly talk to them, now could we?

UGH.

This is so irritating.

I should've dropped the class when I had the chance. I'm tired of people being on my D!CK.

Anyway.

So, yeah, um, for today, I'm kind of groundedish from the computer because I was on it last night when I wasn't supposed to be, but my mom didn't say anything, so I figured it wasn't a big issue, right?

But, then, about half an hour later, she decides to flip a sh!t on me for being on the computer.

Wtf, mother.

Quit being bipolar and stop screaming at me when I haven't done anything wrong.

Okay, so MAYBE I told her to hop off. But, really, she tells me to do something twice while I'm in the process of doing it. The eff is that? Really? I'm not stupid.

UGH.

PARENTS SUCK.

I can't wait to have my own kids. I'm going to be an amazing parent. And I KNOW it. So take that.

Anyway.

I'm exhausted. I should probably nap, but I need to read, but I don't know. I just ate lunch and I'm still hungry and THIS POST IS SO RAMBLEICIOUS.

I'm shutting up now and letting you go about your day.

Mkay?

Bai.

~J*~

OH MY GOD I FORGOT MUSIC MONDAY.

2009-11-04T13:59:00.000-08:00

OH SHIZ.

BEFORE I FORGET EVEN WORSE.

Okay, so the Music Monday band of the week is....

*drumroll*

*hunts desperately for an amazing, not-so-well-known band*

Okay, you know what, I was gonna save this for a little later, but eff it, I love them so much, and really, they should've been the FIRST Music Monday.

Semi-Precious Weapons

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, YES.

Okay, so they're not that pretty.

And, okay, so his voice is uh... unique, to say the least.

But their glam-rock, clearly-from-the-New-York-Village-style music always makes me feel better. I could be in the shittiest mood, and listening to them makes me feel like OHMYGOSHI'MSOAMAZING.

Yeah, they're kinda vulgar. So if you're prudish or whatever I'd recommend you don't listen. Especially since they have a song called "That's K*nt."

But yeah.

Uhm.

They're really original and unique, and they're opening for Lady Gaga (an absolute GODDESS) for a couple of her shows, and I'd kill to see them live.

Seriously, go on YouTube and look for their live shows. It's INSANE.

But um. Yeah. I love them so much. And yeah. Mkay.

~J*~

2012 Might Actually Be the End of the World, If I Looked THIS Good In a Picture.

2009-11-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

Ahem.

I'd like to inform you that, although John Cusack has another role in a movie, the end of the world is NOT coming in about two years.

And mythology class has given me proof.

Apparently, there's some tablet thingy that archaeologists found that shows that, while the Mayan calender ends at 12/21/2012, there WILL be a future to planet Earth. Around somewhere in the 4500's, I do believe, is the last date that was found.

So, that's one little piece of evidence against all you OHMYGAHTHEWORLD'SGONNAENDDDD wackjobs.

No offense. :)

Well, actually, that's about all the evidence that I know of. But I know some theories. Wanna hear 'em?!

No?

TOO BAD.

Well, really, I only remember one. Okay, so think of the Milky Way like a pizza crust, right? And think of our solar system as like... a pepperoni, I guess. Now, speculation due to alignment of planets and stars and junk dictates that maybe, JUST maybe, come 12/21/2012, our pepperoni will start to descend into and below the pizza crust. But no one knows what'll happen if that happens.

SO INTERESTING, RIGHT?!?!?!

*snore*

Moving on.

So yes. The second part of the title.

Ta-daaaaa!!!

Fabulous, no?

I'm sorry, but this picture was so amazing, I had to post it on something other than Facebook.

Girly on the left is Beatriz, my journalism/TV production/photography BFFL. And the person behind the camera is her cousin, Sasha, who's pretty amazing(ly erotic but she just doesn't know it yet).

So yeah. Um. I'm not ashamed to say that I kind of look incredible, and I'd bang Bea in a heartbeat kthnx.

I've really got to stop posting when I'm this tired.

BAH.

~J*~

I Tire of Garlic Salt on my Mac 'n' Cheese.

2009-11-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

Don't ask.
Please.
I'm so tired.

So I'm not going to lie. I saw Paranormal Activity on Sunday and it kinda scared the $#!t out of me. As in, I had to sleep with my light on that night, and a blue glowey lighting-thingy light last night. This is kind of disconcerting, because movies don't usually bother me like this. Except for The Strangers. So creepy.

But for real, for a $11,558 movie that was pretty much just bangs and stuff moving, it was really scary. It was so realistic, and there was no like, soundtrack and it was just... really scary. So yeah.

The full moon looks really creepy right now D:

Anyway.

I feel like I had something really interesting to say, but I don't remember what it was.

OH YEAH.

Okay, this has the opportunity to be really epic. At least, it would, if I had more readers.

So, I was checking my Facebook newsfeed, and I saw a status from Liam Rawrd (DiageoLiam) that kinda caught my interest. I've heard this question before, but I've never really given it any serious thought.

But enough with the suspensing. The question is: If there was a pill to make you go from gay to straight, or straight to gay, would you take it?

Hopefully, I'll get a lot of replies or some such thing with answers and explanations, but I'm not getting my hopes up. But I'll give my honest answer.

Yes, I would.

If I were "normal," I honestly think I would be a lot happier. Of course I'm happy with my boyfriend - immensely and indescribably - but I think I'm starting to kind of get a taste of how difficult this life may be to lead. Granted, by the time I get "out there," in the real world, it'll be 2014, and God knows how things may have changed by then.

(Assuming, of course, we make it past December 21st, 2012.)

(Note to self: Make a 2012 post tomorrow.)

But... I guess we'll just see how things play out, won't we?

Hopefully, everyone here knows this isn't some kind of a choice. No one chooses to be gay or straight. I certainly didn't ask for all of this familial drama, and if there were anyway to change it, I probably would, and I might be happier. But I guess we'll never know.

So, please, don't be shy. Leave a comment, or even post an answer on your own blog.

:)

~J*~

OH. I ALMOST FORGOT.

I'm unofficially becoming a sort of member of this NaBloPoMo nonsense. We'll just see how it goes.

Mkay. Bye now, lovelies.

What a Relief. No Swine Here.

2009-10-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure it was just the common cold.
Whatever it was, it made me miss two days of school, which is real f&!!%*! annoying. -_- But today, I went back, and I really did not miss a whole lot. So I guess it's all good.

I'm still sneezing like a motherheffer, though.

Anyway.

But yes, I have not contracted the pig flu, so I'm not contagious. So don't be afraid to get to close. *sketchy eyebrow wiggle*

I don't know why I'm posting, honestly. My life is not that entertaining at the moment. Maybe THAT'S why I'm posting.

BecauseI'msoboredit'skindacrazy.

Meh. Oh well. I guess a little update never hurt anyone.

Oh, to be interesting....

~J*~

Music Monday.

2009-10-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

I realize it's Tuesday.

I also realize that my head feels like it's been stuffed with cotton and my throat is very scratchy and I had to take the day off.

So hop off D: <

(<3)

So anyway. I'm stealing this little idea from Twitter's trending topic, "Music Monday." How original, right? Well, I guess, since I'm doing it in blog format.

Take that, 140 characters or less.

So for this um... issue?... of Music Monday, I'd like to introduce you to a little band called Morningwood, that is slowly but surely gaining steam. Maybe you've heard of them. If you saw the Sex And The City movie, you heard one of their songs playing during the fashion show scene - New York Girls. This track is from their full debut album, named after their band. Other songs you might have heard are "Nth Degree" and "Take Off Your Clothes." A band with a unique style, led by frontwoman Chantal Claret, this indie rock/glam metal group is hard to resist. Check out their debut album, Morningwood, as well as their 4-track maxi-single, Sugarbaby. Their new album, Diamonds and Studs, is to be released sometime later this year.

So yeah. I'm gonna go drink some water and maybe tea, and maybe have some chicken noodle soup now.

Happy listening.

~J*~

Oh Deary Me... Could It Be...? No, Not Possible... But Is It... SWINE?

2009-10-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, dear God almighty in heaven above, I hope not.

I was so hot all day. Like, it was ridiculous. And in third period, it got unbearable. My head was throbbing every time I coughed - which was a whole lot - so I went to the nurse. I suppose the good news is that I don't have a fever. Or, at least, I didn't this morning.

Anyway. I've been toying with my webcam. And it's kinda a whole lot of fun, considering I haven't much toyed with it yet. Wanna see?

I HAVE A MASK. So exciting.

Lame?

Who, I?

Psht.

There are so many more pictures, but I really don't feel like putting them up.

Oh, and the person on the phone is Nikki. You know, my best friend? Yeah, her.

Anyway. I have no idea what I'm saying right now. I'm not feeling good, I'm tired, and I'm in a blah mood.

BLAH, I SAY.

~J*~

Is It Just Me, Or Is Blogging Losing Steam?

2009-10-25T08:49:00.001-07:00

I guess it's to be expected. I mean, it's the WRITTEN WORD, which is slowly, but surely, going out of style. Which sucks. But whatever. I mean, everything has its hayday. And I guess people are just too lazy to read, so they'd rather watch videos with random edits in them to make them look funny/dramatic/just flat out fancy.

I guess blogging just isn't as "in" as it used to be. Not if there aren't pretty pictures, anyway. So, without further ado, here's a picture... Hang on, lemme figure out how to get it on here from Facebook... godda---

Whoa. That's a whole lot of HTML.

Oh. Haha. It wasn't in "compose" view. Silly Joey, Blogger is for smart people.

But yes. Okay. Picture explanation time :)

(Sadly, I don't think I have any of me and Boyfriend D: Neither of us had cameras and yeah. But whatevs. Memories are all in the old noodle. And they are very spectacular memories.)

Okay. So the girl on the left is Mae, and I've been friends with her since freshman years - three years ago, people - and we're not exactly BFFs, but we're pretty close. And she looked GAWWWWJUS last night.

Girly on the right is cute little Myoung. I took a history class with her last year, and she made it very entertaining. :) SHE'S SO CUTE. All the tiny little Asian girls are such freaks on the dance floor, though. Or anywhere else for that matter.

And that amazingly snazzy dude in the middle? That would be yours truly. Yes, oh yes, I know, it was a fabulously STUNNING ensemble, picked out by none other than ME. And, the best part is, I had JUST learned how to tie a tie three nights before =D

(Picture curteousy of Myoung's phone, as used by the 12th grade administrator that had THE hardest time figuring out how to use it, Mr. Tyrell.)

But yes. My second and final homecoming was absolutely terrific. A lot of dancing, a lot of sweating, a lot of going out into the courtyard for fresh air, a lot of tiny bottles of water, and a lot of people simulating gratuitous, rough-ass sex on the dance floor.

And, NO, I was not one of them.

Promise.

Except maybe with Rosie ;) Oh how I love my lesbian.

(Lol.)

But dancing with Boyfriend was perhaps one of the best parts of the night. Amazingly sweet and just... amazing. GAH. *loveyloveymushygooeylove*

But, at the risk of embarassing myself further, I'll let you enjoy this first post in CENTURIES and then leave you to the rest of your day/night/whatever.

Adieu, dear Blogger.

~J*~

2009-10-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Le sigh.

I am absolutely, positively aware of the fact that my posts have been getting fewer and farther between.

I am also one hundred percent, completely aware of the fact that I have a lottt of spare time to blog, considering I am taking one - count em, ONE - required class this year.

So sorry, for my like, two readers.

If even.

I can only dream of being famous on here.

And, sadly, the fact that I have an essay in that ONE REQUIRED CLASS just came to my attention.

Due tomorrow.

Motherfu---

~J*~

PS: I'll be back later. Mkay?

I'm Still Alive. I Promise.

2009-09-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

I know.

I know.

I have not been able to get on the computer, and it's a very long and complicated story that I REALLY do not feel like getting into right now that involves my trying-to-re-locate-her-marbles mother and a missed curfew.

Anyways.

Yes, Kanye West is a toolbox douchedrinking S.O.B.

Poor Taylor Swift.

Seriously.

Lady Gaga is effing SPECTACULAR. I love her as much as Katy Perry now.

She's not a man, so stfu.

Her outfits are terrifying, ugly, amazingly innovated, and inspired by monsters.

Best Lady Gaga site ever.

Abby thinks I'm her boyfriend, so our friendship is pretty much deceased.

I'm taking one required course - AP lit - and six other ones that are pretty much B.S., but most of them are enjoyable.

Especially photography. I love that class.

Now that you're all caught up...

I spent the day with this awesome girl Francesca today. We met in June at the SATs and haven't seen each other since. But we've kept in touch via Facebook, and we were FINALLY able to hang out.

It was quite the lovely day :)

Windowshopping at the mall, taking pictures on her laptop, having a Lady Gaga dance party, chilling with her boyfriend - which was shockingly not awkward - and coming home way too early.

So yeah.

L O V E L Y.

:)

I really hope I get to do it again next weekend.

So yeah.

Okay.

So yeah.

Yeah.

~J*~

Oh, and by the way...

2009-08-03T16:24:00.001-07:00

That last post was number one-hundred.

Thank you, lovely readers, for sticking around through one-hundred ramble-icious, whine-acious posts. More to come.

:)

<3

~J*~

If There Are Any Filthy Rich People Reading this, Would You Mind Buying Me A Quaint Little Place to Live?

2009-08-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, I just said "quaint."

But for seals, like... I can't live here after I turn eighteen. If I'm still stuck living with my mother... let's just say keep a lookout for the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Or seven. Or however many there are.

I'm tired of being controlled. And I'm tired of being yelled at and called a liar. And I'm tired of being told that I think with my dick. Not in so many words, but, you know, pretty much. No, I don't want to just spend some time with my boyfriend snuggling and watching TV, I'm a teenage boy, so I MUST only want to have sex with him!! Perfect sense, right?

If you agree, go away. Now.

So I really need a job so I can start saving up big time. It's only going to be minimum wage, but I think minimum wage is like, seven bucks an hour now... I just need to start saving for all the things I want. Maybe I'll get something published and rake some extra cash in for a piece of shit used car and the cheapest driver's ed I can find.

Or something.

I don't know.

Does anyone know how to get published?

PLEASE tell me if you do.

~J*~

A Series of Heartfelt Letters, "Clever Girl Goes Blog" Style

2009-07-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Maternal Unit,

Just because I am a teenage male does not mean I think solely with the WRONG HEAD.

Sincerely,

Your Boyfriend-deprived child.

-----

Dear Apple,

You suck. Like, really hardcore. I was talking about you with a Best Buy worker yesterday and apparently only iTunes would work on a Mac computer. Egotistical much? Especially considering your software SUCKS.

Sincerely,

Someone who just got a sexy new 120 gig Zune.

-----

Dear New Zune,

I love you dearly, and with your 30,000 song capacity, I'll never run out of space. However, that does not excuse you from keeping me up until the wee hours of the night, cramming music onto your slow-moving software.

Not that I'm complaining.

You run way better than Apple.

Sincerely,

Your ecstatic owner.

-----

Dear Grandmother,

Thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE WAYYY EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT :DDDD

In case you didn't put two and two together, that would be my ZUNE

Much love,

Your... grandson? Duh.

-----

Dear Jackson Blanton Photographers,

It would be incredibly appreciated if you would put my senior pictures on your website already so they could be ordered, plus plastered all over Blogger/Twitter/Facebook.

Sincerely,

Someone who didn't look half bad in the pictures you took.

-----

((Clever Girl Goes Blog <3Tia))

What the Hell? I Can't Take My Own Advice.

2009-07-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

UGH.
I need. To calm DOWN.

I spent all day with Boyfriend and two friends yesterday, and yet I feel like I barely saw him. I mean, granted, it had been a month and a half since the last time I saw him, and we were definitely attached to each other the whole time, but still... Iono.

I'm kind of pathetic, right?

-le sigh-

Moving on.

MOMMY GOT A JOB. :DDDDDD

Yesyesyes.

It's very exciting. She starts Tuesday, the 29th, and GAH!

:D

One thing to be happy about in my messed-up, PMS-ish emotional state.

:P

If any of you have gone to my YouTube, sorry that there's only one "vlog" or whatever. I kind of... don't have much to talk about?

Hmph.

I'll figure something out, though! For all you lovely people out there that give a hootinanny about me.

XD

<3

~J*~

Summer's Almost Over...

2009-07-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

...And I'm still jobless.

The hiring manager at Starbucks is on vacation all week this week, and I have two job applications to complete for places that I would need to bus to, but damnit, I need money.

I feel like a deadbeat! Especially since Boyfriend has a good-paying job. FML.

My mom had a second interview this past week for the same job, so it's looking REALLY good. Keep your fingers crossed for her?

Meanwhile, I'm sitting on the couch, watching Spongebob, needing a job myself. UGHHH. But, I've managed to get some writing done, at least :) Not a lot, but... well, enough, I guess?

I've posted my first vlog! And I need to do my second! GAH. I have a feeling I'm going to fail at vlogging again.

Oh, and to "Hello," who left that comment on my blog about iTunes, thank you!! I'll try to do that ASAP. :D

Anyway. Life has been so uneventful. I really don't bave much to blog about.... GAH again.

~J*~

YouTube.

2009-07-09T08:44:00.000-07:00

I've done it! I've made another YouTube! Mwahahaha!
I have one video so far, and it's a cover of a song, so just ignore it. I'm going to start vlogging again soon.

A Heart In The Apple Tree

Kthnx.

<3

~J*~

Odd Jobs, a Really Sweet Thought, and Crappy iTunes.

2009-07-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

Babysitting: $40
Working for grandma: $50
Babysitting again this Friday: $25
Having $115: Priceless.

I really hope that math was right. But yeah.

I feel loaded.

Except for the part where I need a legit, regularly scheduled job. But still. Money :) The only thing is... I like buying things. I just hate SPENDING MY MONEY. Make sense?

Didn't think so.

Moving on.

I was chitchatting with Boyfriend last night, and he told me he wanted to take me to a Lady Gaga concert for my birthday, but it's on a school night, and it's in DC, so obviously, the madre's answer was a resounding NO.

It was such a sweet thought, though. :) I'm just so sad I can't go :\

Next.

iTunes. Anything "i" related. SUCKS. Really bad. So does Limewire. I need a Zune. Badly. The laptop needed to be like, restarted basically. Like, completely wiped clean. So I had my Limewire music saved on disks. And I put the music on iTunes, and it was all "Oh, by the way, we can't play this, because we can't find the original file."

Ftw? Why do you need the original file if I have it saved on a CD?

So yeah. I'm just going to start from scratch eventually. Stupid Apple...

~J*~

Babysitting.

2009-07-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

So. I'm actually making money. Twenty-five bucks for babysitting a just-turned-seven-year-old for a day. Not too bad. 'Cause I don't have a job at all, and I'm tired of feeling USELESS. So now I'm actually doing something. Babysitting my good friend's little sister. Who happens to like anything and everything Disney channel, and all the popular singles. But it's cool. She's seven. She'll get more cultured.

I hope.

So anyway. I had to get up at 8:45, which is the earliest I've gotten up all summer. I've been up til three in the morning every... night?... since summer began. For no reason. So yeah. Coffee is currently my best friend.

Speaking of best friends, Penguin is planning an Ocean City trip on the seventeenth.

(For you non-east-coasters, Ocean City is the most favored beach by Marylanders because of it's supposedly fabulous boardwalk - I haven't been there in years, so I wouldn't know - and it's shockingly nasty water. I guess it's just kind of a late-teen-early-twenties hotspot?)

So Penguin just got her license, and she'd be driving me, Boyfriend, and his bestie (possibly). Only problem is... mommy doesn't like teenage drivers. So that's not gonna happen. Probably. And I reallyreallyreallyreally wanted to go :(

But meh. I suppose I'll get over it. Probably.

So I'll just sit here. Watching Hannah Montana while the Girlie Girl noms on some Doritos from her Camp Rock lunch box. But hey. I can't bitch. She's cool for a seven year old, and it's twenty five bucks. Plus more money next week for helping gramma out at work.

Woot.

I have phone calls to make. There are places that I want to work, and I need to see if you can be under eighteen to work there. Like Borders. And a movie theater. And panera. And a whole bunch of other places.

So yeah.

OH BOY. A SPECIAL HOUR LONG HANNAH MONTANA EVENT. I CAN'T WAIT.

~J*~

Stickam.

2009-06-26T15:01:00.001-07:00

So I used to have an account on the cam chat site, Stickam. And I recently re-activated it for the sake of seeing a friend's channel. I just recently found out that my digital camera works as a webcam on this laptop. Plus I have a mic. So I have my own channel. The URL is lame, 'cause it's old. But here's my link:

Joey's Stickam

I get on as much as possible. But I'm not famous. So no one gets on. Lol.

Anyway...

Ugh. I'm so tired of sitting here. At home. So far all summer, I've been sitting at home all day, maybe going out for a walk or run, but mostly sitting on the computer, watching TV, reading, writing, whatever. I'm so. Freaking. Bored.

I need a job. The grocery store is a pain in the ass, so I'm going to apply to CVS, McDonalds, Burger King, and Taco Bell/KFC next week. I just want money >< Lol.

~J*~

Oh Me, Oh My... A New Obsession?

2009-06-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Dexter.

DexterDexterDexter.

Why is this show so amazing?

I watched the pilot when it came on CBS during the writer's strike. And I thought it suckedish. But now, I'm watching it on Showtime OnDemand with my cousin, who's visiting from Pittsburgh for the week, and it's quite addictive.

*sigh*

Showtime is so amazing. I need to start watching Weeds from the beginning. And Dead Like Me was such an amazing show. I'm so sad it's gone. I've been getting it on Netflix. Only two seasons :\

United States of Tara isn't coming back til next year.... Gah. It is t3h suckz0rz. Because that show is amazing.

But yeah.

So I only had three exams. And school is out. And I haven't seen Boyfriend in like, ten days, which really sucks. But I'm just glad to be so chill now, without school. Although I have summer reading and math stuff. Grr. And possibly a job.

I need to call the grocery store today, speaking of......

Hmph.

~J*~

The Graduation of Penguin

2009-05-31T17:18:00.001-07:00

Before I begin: I have finished the third installment of my Anita Blake-type series.

(Laurell K. Hamilton, don't sue - I assure you, it's no more similar than the Sookie Stackhouse series. You're just so inspiring.)

I finished at like, 2:00something today. And it's too short. Only 99 pages. Grrr. It shall become longer, though!

So yes.

On with the... what the title says.

*Ahem*

My bestest friend in the whole wide world... has graduated. This past Friday was the seniors' last day. So no more seeing Penguin every single day in the stairway. -tear- Why couldn't she just fail this year so she could stay back?

WHY?

Oh, right. She has a future. Damnit.

But really, a whole bunch of my friends were seniors, and I'm going to miss them all. I have few friends in my own class, and that was probably a strategical error on my part.

Maybe.

So... yeah. Penguin is gone, never to return again.

Except for the part where she only lives ten minutes away, and I know both her numbers by heart. BUT STILL.

-le sigh-

[/whinemoangroan]

~J*~

Almost Finished :D

2009-05-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

This is it.
In about 9,248 words, my third book will be finished. It'll probably go a little over, but... GAH! Finally! This has been the hardest one to write so far. And. I'm. Almost. Done.

*breaks out the non-alcoholic champagne*

It'll be finished before summer :) Hehe.

Moving on.

So. The Nightly News is blaring in the background. And stupid liberal-as-hell California decided to uphold Prop 8.

Fudgethewhat.

One of the most liberal states in the country... with like, Homo-Central (San Francisco) and everything. And they're upholding Prop 8.

*lesigh* I will never understand ignorance.

But at least the like... what, 8,000 gay couples that got married, stay married? So that's goodish.

Sorry, didn't mean to go all activist on you.

~J*~

Idol Is Rigged. It's Final.

2009-05-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

As if it wasn't final before, when Daughtry lost.

Adam Lambert should have won, since Allison didn't. I think the Adam part is the general consensus. Personally, I liked Allsion because she's like Pink, and I heart Pink :)

But then I stopped to think... Adam didn't win... So he's not under contract with Idol... so he can do whatever with his music :D He's not bounded by legalities.

Personally, I think they rigged it so he'd lose because he's not the image Idol wants. He's got the whole goth-rocker thing going on, and they want that boy-next-door kinda thing. Everyone thinks the gay thing is such an issue, but really, if it was, would he have gotten as far as he did? Probably NOT.

Everyone you ask is going to tell you that they voted Adam. Well, not everyone. But most. Which means that... Idol's rigged :) Duh.

I professed that I was done with the show last season, but then it drew me in again this year, in the final... five, was it? I mean, I didn't watch beginning to end, but I caught bits and pieces.

Still ticked that Allison didn't get to the top three -_-

~J*~

Hey hey hey.

2009-05-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Well, hello, little children. Would you like a piece of candy? :)

Mwahahaha.

So I think therapy is helping the madre a bit. 'Cause she actually let me hang out with Boyfriend, Penguin, and Ari (haven't come up with a nickname for her yet XD) until 11:00 last night. Which is a big step for her. Especially since she never really let me go out all that much. But I think this whole "negotiation" thing is working. I dunno. Like, if I do something (i.e. clean the bathroom) she'll let me go out without question. I dunno, it's just like... yeah, I think therapy is kind of helping, even though I didn't really think it would? Hm.

So yeah. Last night was cozy. We all started watching "A League of Their Own" which about put everyone but Ari to sleep. "It's my favorite movie!" she said. -eyeroll- Whyyyy?
Then a trip to the thrift store, Safeway, and then... back to the house. Where we started Saw III, ate some ice cream, and started Candyman (worse movie ever... one of them). But it was cozy :) Boyfriend and I hogged the couch, Penguin and Ari had the floor, and Ari fell asleep. Penguin drew a smiley face on her exposed thigh before we left, and she still didn't wake up.
Priceless.

Anywayyy.

Yup.

But like, how are you all doing? Go ahead, leave a comment - I don't bite :)

Oh, and bytheby, Tia, your fabulousity outranks mine by FARRRR :P

~J*~

This Applies to Anyone Reading This

2009-05-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

If you have a problem with anything I'm saying, ANYTHING at all... Then don't read this blog. Okay? If you intend on commenting rude things, go for it, but you're wasting your time and energy, because they're just going to get deleted. Just hop off my blog if you don't like me, be it personal or otherwise.

Grow up. Get a life. Honestly, if you're sitting there reading some blog and then dissing the person via blog comment, you must be pretty pathetic. If you think you're so much better than me, prove it - go the fuck away.

I haven't done anything to anyone but talk about my life - it's like a public journal sort of thing, it's an outlet. If you're not interested, or you think it's dumb, or if you thing I'M dumb, then don't waste you're time reading it. If you think something I say doesn't make sense, then fine - I don't care. Don't sit there and waste you're time telling me shit that I really don't care about, and that's not going to do you any good.

Really, just, grow the hell up.

That's my little tirade for today.

~J*~

Ahem.

2009-05-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

Dear "ChristEven,"

What's with the bitter comments? Can you stop being a bitch? Kthnx. What did I do to elicit your rude responses? Um... I blogged? Wow. I guess that deserved your shiz?

First off, "special" was spelled wrong on purpose. Duh. I'm not that retarded.

Second, don't sit there and call me a hypocrite - just because I hang out with someone a lot doesn't mean my life "revolves" around them. Jesus.

Speaking of Jesus, you can't sit there and talk shit about me, because you think you're... Christ? Ego much?

And if you clean up oil spills for a living, what are you doing sitting there reading a 16 year old's blog?

Pedo.

Sincerely,

Someone who needs you to go away now :D

-----

Moving on.

I snuck on Blogger at escuela real quick in the media center. Badass, right? -sarcasm- Anyway, yeah, I'm supposed to be filming this thing for TV production, but people are using the room we need sooo... Boredom :D

But yeah.

Mkay.

Oh! And to Clever Girl Tia's question, I guess... that's fine? Haha. I mean, at least it's people you know and are close to, and you're generalizing. It's not like you're dehumanizing them, I guess? I dunno. That didn't make any sense XD

So yeahhh.

I'ma hop off now.

<3

~J*~

New Blog Plug, "Gay" Tirade, and AP Exams... My, What a Busy Post.

2009-05-11T13:41:00.001-07:00

Okay, first thing first:

Skyline of Fruit. Blog that me and Nikki Skyline are doing. Go follow. Now. Kthnx. It's just getting started, but... yeah. Kay.

Second order of business: (It's out of order in the title, 'cause I'm saving the tirade for last)
AP Exams. Holy. Shiz. I have one tomorrow at noon, and one the next day at 8:00 AM. GAHHH. AP Psych and AP Language+Composition. Shitshitshitshit. I don't wanna. Please don't make me. I got a 3 on my mock AP psych, so I need to CRAMCRAMCRAM tonight.
FUUUUDGEEEENUTTERRRSSSS.

Now for the tirade.

WE ARE NOT DOGS.

He is not "a" gay. He is simply gay.

"Hold on, Joey. Saywhatnow?"

-sigh- Okay. So I was reading the prologue to some story on a writer's forum, and one of the characters was introduced as "a" gay. Gay is not a noun. It is an adjective, not to be confused with the word "stupid." For example of the latter, an object cannot be "gay" - it does not have sexual attrection to the same gender. Mmmkay?

That's just the half of it.

As for the other half - you can't be "a" gay. Gay is not a thing. Gay is what someone is. So you can't be "a" gay. I don't know how to make it any clearer.

How about this?

Wrong: "He is a gay."
Right: "He is gay."

Voi la.

It's really not that hard.

Kthnx.

~J*~

After Promizzle

2009-05-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

So me and the Twin talked it out after a record six days without talking. And we're good. I dunno how long it's going to be til I wanna be THAT close to her again, because... well, I don't want to be that relied upon. And she gets it, thank God. At least, I hope.

So last night was prom. And I didn't go. But I went to AFTER prom with Penguin at Dave & Busters. 'Twas fun. I was out 'til four in the morning. I felt SO HARDCORE. XD But it was a lot of fun. And then Penguin's mom picked us up and her and Penguin started like, screaming in these ridiculous accents. And it was incredibly hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard in forever. I had tears rolling down my face.

Butchyeahhh.

For the second time in two years, I have a poem in the literary magazine :) I feel SPESHUL. Except for the part where people whose poems absolutely SUCKED got in, too. So that kind of killed my confidence a little.

But yeahhh.

Okay.

This was... short?

~J*~

Drama Was Supposed to Cease LAST Year.

2009-05-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

"My life cannot revolve around her and her schedule. I'm sorry that I have other friends that I like to hang out with, too, and... yeah. So gah. I mean, we're "okay" for now. But like... yeah. I dunno."

You may or may not remember that from my last post. If you don't, see the one right below this one. It's not that hard. Yeah, see, that whole "issue" kind of came back to bite me in the ass and exploded into a million tiny little fragments.

My friendship with Abby is over.

She wanted me to go with her and her mother to get her car's oil changed at 9:00 in the morning. Wtf? Sorry, I wouldn't have fun doing that with ANYONE. Nonetheless, to appease her, I asked my mom, who gave a resounding "no," for which I thanked her later. Abby proceeded to flip a sh!t, and in the process of her doing so, I hung up on her.

Later, I went out for a walk. She saw me and asked me if I wanted to go with her to get her brother. Sure, was my reply, I have nothing better to do. So we're walking, I'm listening to music, no one is talking. She thinks I'm ignoring her, so she tells me to go away. So I do. Later, she calls me telling me that if I cared, I would have stayed, to which my reply was "I don't care - if someone tells me to go away, I'm not going to stick around." Of course, all she heard was "I don't care" and hung up on me.

So blah say blah say blah, this and that, and while I'm watching Carrie for one-fifth of a psychology project with the Penguin and her BFFL, my mom calls me to tell me that Abby called HER crying and basically putting my MOTHER in the middle of it.

Fudgethewhat?

So Abby proceeds to text Penguin about eight bajillion times saying "tell Joey this and that and this."

I'M SO DONE.

Every time I can't do something with HER, every time I have plans with someone that's not HER, she gets pissed off, because I'm not revolving my life around HER. And everytime, she says "Oh I'm sorry blah blah" after her usual guilt trips and pity parties. So why is this time any different, I ask?

It's not.

So yeah.

Done.

Anywayyyy.

So yeah. For the past two weeks, I have been going to Penguins house to watch movies for a psychology project, in which we watch five movies with a partner (off of a list of HUNDREDS of movies) and write a report on the mental disorders one or more of the characters have. So far we've only managed to watch Secret Window, and Carrie. We watched the latter this past weekend, as previously mentioned, and towards the end, Carrie is sitting in a bath tub, rinsing the pig's blood off of her. Penguin's brother comes out of his room, sees this, and, like the typical straight male he is, cries BOOBIES! and runs upstairs to say MOM, THEY'RE WATCHING PORN!
Penguin's mom shrugs this off, but as Carrie stabs her mother, and her mother begins to make awfully orgasm-ish moaning sounds, Penguin's mother cries, "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU WATCHING!?"

Priceless.

Anyway.

So yeah. That's been... life, lately.

I really want to make a blog with Penguin and Nikki Skyline, but Penguin doesn't blog, and Nikki... well, she barely does.

Ho's.

~J*~

I Need To Get IN SHAPE.

2009-04-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm not like. Big. But I'm a little bit overweight. And I have pudge. And Boyfriend says he likes the pudge. So I'm kinda like... oh, I don't care. But turns out, I might be lifeguarding this summer. So um... I'm not gonna sit around a poll with my stomach hanging over the waistband of my swimtrunks, kthnx. And I know lifeguards wear shirts. But uhm... Then I'll have a farmer's tan. And that'll just be ewey.

Except for the part where, to be qualified, you have to swim twelve (yes, twelve) laps straight, and then get a ten pound weight from the bottom of the deep end, up to the surface, and swim it across the pool. Blow my life. I think I'm screwed.

Thing is, I think it'd be kinda fun. And it pays really well. So like. It couldn't hurt. I'm going to try. I'm just really nervous. Like, I don't want to start working til the summer. 'Cause my grades were good for third quarter, but now they're kinda... slippingish.

Oh. Okay.

So the Twin (aka BFF main girl Abby - told you I'd get a new name soon) and I got into a fightish thing today. She wanted me to go to this carnival thing with her and her madre and her brother, and my mom was like "No," and the Twin got all pissed off and going on this whole "Your mom doesn't trust me or my parents" thing and it's like... No. Sometimes, mother dearest just says no. Chill. And she's all mad at me because, basically, I have friends and she doesn't.

My life cannot revolve around her and her schedule. I'm sorry that I have other friends that I like to hang out with, too, and... yeah. So gah. I mean, we're "okay" for now. But like... yeah. I dunno.

Hm. A hot shower sounds quite appealing.

Adios.

~J*~

Spring Break... Not So Break-alicious.

2009-04-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

This did not feel like spring break. It felt like a very long, boring weekend. From Friday evening to Monday morning, I was in Manhattan. This was slightly entertaining. It was fun being in a new city that I've only been to once - years ago, so I don't even remember - and it was just... fun. I dunno. I liked it. It woulda been more fun with friends, though.

I saw none of my friends over break. Except BFF main girl Abby (once again, props to Clever Girl Tia for the witty nickname; I'll change it up eventually, I swear). I went outside with her for an hour and a half the other day and chilled. But I didn't get to see the Penguin, or Boyfriend, who was in Williamsburg all break... So wasn't having much fun, either.

It's 11:05 PM, and I have an 88 question study guide to finish. I'm on question... 40. I did a 96 question study guide yesterday and the day before. Stupid psychology -.-

Anyway.

Yeah. I'm ready to go back to school, but only 'cause I miss everyone. And yeah. So I've spent all my break doing... nothing? I might be seeing my friend Joey tomorrow, as well as Abby. But Iono.

This wasn't the Best Break Ever. And I only have one more high school spring break. So that one better be DAMN enjoyable.

So since I was without Facebook for a while, I thought I'd have like, a million notifications and such. But when I got on the other day, after my foray in NYC, I only had 18 notifications. I'm unloved :(

Hah. As if. :)

Anyway.

I've found another series to break me away from my Anita Blake obsession. Except for the part where I'm still totally obsessed. But it's that series that the HBO hit show (that I have yet to see more than ONE episode of -.-) True Blood. I saw the first episode, and I REALLY liked it. I'm reading the first book in this "Sookie Stackhouse series," (who names their child Sookie? Why would you do that? Do you WANT them to be bullybait?) and I like it and all. I'm just not a huge fan of Charlaine Harris' style. It's cute, though :)

I got the 14th Anita Blake, though. And I've read one chapter. And I'm like... :OOO. And I really want to read it. But I have to finish Sookie Stackhouse. Then I'm trying to finish Stephen King's "Insomnia." So I'm like... GAHHHH. "Insomnia" is good and all, very interesting, but it's NOT ANITA BLAKE.

Okay. I sound like a HUGE EFFING NERD RIGHT NOW with my book-talk. Um. Sorry? ><

Anyway.

Okay. I REALLY need to finish this study guide. Well, not finish... but work on? 'Cause this one's not due till Wednesday.

OKAY.

FOR SEALS.

I'M GOING NOW.

OKAY?

Kay.

OH WAIT.

No I'm not.

I'm upset about something :(

My mommy limited my texting. Yeah. I "text too much." And I do. One month it was... upwards of 8000 [blush]. But I cut back by like, 3000! So last month it was around 5000!! :D

But alas, now I only get 1500 a month. So goodbye, Twitter :( GAH.

It's so upsetting.

OKAY ANYWAY GAH STUDYGUIDE ILOVEYOUALL BYE.

~J*~

Matza Crackers and Peanut Butter - And I'm Not Even Jewish!!

2009-04-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

Someone explain to me why people think matza is tasty. Because I do not see (erm... taste?) it. At all. It tastes like cardboard. And it's only good with peanut butter.

(As everyone knows, cardboard is very tasty with peanut butter. Peanut butter is one of the three things that makes a whole lot of foods taste better :D Including parmesan cheese and garlic salt.)

So I had an orthodontist appointment today. And I was informed that I no longer have to come in anymore. I simply have to wear my retainer one night a week - although, the doctor told me I only had to wear it when I thought it was necessary. I'm MATURE ENOUGH TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT MY TEETH!! :D

But, alas, another chapter in my life comes to an end... I've been seeing said orthodontist office since I was a wee lad (11 years old, to be precise - I got my braces on around November of 2003). It's the end of an ERA!!!

Thank. Fudging. GOD.

A.n.y.w.a.y.

I am very excited. I have commenced work on a new story, and I am utterly enthralled with my ability to keep it from drifting into supernaturalness!! But I find the story quite lovely, so far, even though it makes virtually no sense.

Hmph.

I'll figure it all out :)

It sucks, though, because I've reallllly wanted to write lately, and I've had a writer's block. I mean, it'll go away for like, a day, then it'll come back, and I'll be just as D:< grrr as ever.

So grrr to you, writer's block.

~J*~

My Chin Is Itchy :(

2009-03-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hai.

Currently: Listening to Dresden Dolls on YouTube. Binge much?

So mommy found out about Facebook. And blogs. And she's all "I'm impressed with your writing" and I'm all :D *flattered*

Even though it's... my mother?

**awkward turtle**
^^^
You wouldn't understand

Anyway.

Hai.

So I've been having mood swings lately. If I was a girl, I'd say I was PMSing. But I'm not. So I'm not. But like. Yeah. Yesterday morning til this morning before I got to school, I was pissed at the world. Then I got to school and everything was super-spectacular. Um? B.I.P.O.L.A.R. Kthnx.

I'm trying to learn how to play piano :O Isn't it E'CITING?!?!? Of course, I'm failing epically, but practice Practice PRACTICE.

Hehe.

I need to get this CD so I don't have to listen to it on YouTube. But the stupid freaking wifi isn't freaking working, and I only have Limewire on the laptop, and TALIGHASG eff Verizon. They SUCK.

-_-

Anyway.

Okay.

Done rambling for today, methinks.

Tee tee why ell.

~J*~

The School Paper Loves Joey =]

2009-03-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

Hey. Everyone that reads this that goes to my school. You know who you are. I'm not about to broadcast what school I go to on the interwebz. There are such things as pedophiles, you know. They're gross.

So yeah. You people that go to my escuela. Turn to the "Beat Attitude" section. Right now. I think that's right. Haha. It's the first article. About blogging.

I'M MENTIONED!!!

=D

It's so exciting. First my blog is "In," and now I've been interviewed for the school paper - and my words were RECOUNTEDDDD!!!

Woot fersure.

So yeah. Once again, I'm alone on a Friday night, while Penguin, Boyfriend, and his two besties chill at his house. I am SO FRIGGING JEALOUS. Ugh. ALhasglsajg. I miss them all. 'Specially... well, guess who :P

Anyway.

So I'm stuck at my dad's house, on the computer. No one's on AIM or MSN. Or Facebook. Fudge my life.

Oooh.

Fudge sounds tasty.

And I really want this tortilla chicken soup from Panera. Omnomonomnomnom...

OH!

So I have exciting news. I know 99.9% of you don't like, legit care. But I think my mom is finally starting to get it. It might've helped that I told her if I had somewhere else to live, I would. But there were several reasons I didn't want to move in with dad:
1) I'd miss my dogs.
2) He's not as chil about Boyfriend as mom is.
3) It's a big house - that means more chores.

But I think telling her that opened her eyes. Because I'm sick of her saying that I care more about my friends than her. First of all, my friends didn't give birth to me. So yeah. Second, she's taking this "you're going to leave me one day" to a whole new level.

I dunno. THere's other stuff. But just... yeah.

So yeah. I think I might be able to have more of a social life. And I think I might actually get to see Boyfriend outside of school. Which would be frigging SPECTACULAR.

My psychology teacher assigned a 97 question study guide on Wednesday, due Monday. Thursday, I got home from school. I watched some TV. Then at 4:00, bored as all hell, I commenced on the study guide. I got 32 questions done by 5:00, at which time I went to Panera and sated my dire need for a frontega chicken panini - choosing to ignore my need for the chicken tortilla soup, forgetting you could "pick two." I got home at about 6:15, at which time I re-commenced work on the study guide. At 8:00, I watched a little bit of the previous night's Lost. Truthfully, I'm starting to hate the show. The only reason I still awtch it is to find out what the hell is going on. At 8:30, we had an online test for psychology. 60 questions. Didn't study that much. Thought I didn't know half the stuff.

I got an 88.8%. That's the highest I've EVER gotten on a psychology test.

At 9:00, I resumed the study guide. At 10:30, I talked to the madre for an hour. At 11:30, I study guide-ed some more. At 11:45, I took a shower. at 12:00 am, I finished the last seven questions of the ninety-seven question study guide.

I think the fact that the sexual orientation section was quite interesting (and thanfully the farthest thing from ignorant) helped quite a bit.

Today, I had a unit test in biology. I think I got a B. I had two quizes in AP english. I think I got two A's. Then a quiz in theater. It's theater, so probably 100%. My grades are the best they've been all year. First quarter's GPA was 2.85. Second quarter's GPA was 2.57. Right now, I have 5 B's and 2 A's, which averages out to a 3.28.

I'm doing infinitely better, and it's making me feel infinitely better.

Life isn't too bad right now.

=]

~J*~

Hullo :3

2009-03-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging. And I miss writing. I haven't written in a very long time. It's slightly upsetting. But I haven't gotten an opportunity to get on the laptop, upon which my various assortment of works are stored... Even though I was just on... So I could've put the stuff on my jump drive... CRAP.

Anyway.

I just tried to call Verizon - our internet provider - to try to work out the CONSTANT problems we've been having with the WiFi. So, after fifteen minutes of listening to a machine ramble about restarting my modem might help - something I've done for the umpteenth time now - and about how my call is important to them - something that's just utter B.S. - I am told that "all technicians are currenly with other customers. We value your call and -"

Of course I hung up. What do I look like, an idiot?

Don't answer that.

Anyway.

We were reading Huckleberry Finn for AP English. So I've been neglecting my lovely Anita Blake. I've been reading the twelfth book for several months now and I really want to finish it. But it's 730 pages and I've been mega-distracted by socializing.

Hehe.

But yeah.

Grr... Boyfriend's phone broke. So I'm without him until next Thursday. Except at school. Upsetting much?

/whining

But yeah. That's about it. Maybe I'll go write.

...

I'll probably talk to the Penguin.

~J*~

If It's This Hard, It's GOT To Be Worth It

2009-03-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

This week has been a total emotional roller coaster. I was so glad to talk things out last night, and I think things my be smooth-going for a while. My mom is still being ridiculous, but... oh well. I can't push her into acceptance. No one can make this any easier. But since it's so hard, that's got to mean something, right? This relationship has had so many bumps because of restrictions, that it's got to be worth it, in the end... right?

I think so. I really do.

But anyway, onto a totally different tangent...

I was reading Tia's blog - as per usual whenever I get on Blogger, which is quite rare nowadays, thanks to previously mentioned restrictions - and there was a post about the upcoming New Moon movie (more specifically, the poster with Robert Pattinson baring his chest and stomach to all the prepubescent girls of the world). Well, I may want to see the rest of the movies as they come out, but..........

I'M SO OVER TWILIGHT.

It's sooooo frigging obnoxious anymore. All this paraphenalia (I totally spelled that wrong) glaring at me from every clothing store and book store... IT'S SO OBNOXIOUS!! Twilight is not worth this much hype. Stephanie Meyer is a good writer an all, but how about you give her some recognition for The Host? You know, her BETTER, DEEPER, MORE MEANINGFUL, AMAZINGLY WELL WRITTEN book? Twilight is well written and all, but it's ridiculously unoriginal and just... obnoxious!! So not worth it....

Okay. Rant over :]

So yeah.

I have a psych study guide due Monday. I reallllly should be doing that. I only have like, 15/57 questions done... It's actually short, for an AP psychology study guide... I kind of was a bitch in that class on Thursday. That was not a good day for me. So I kind of feel bad. And I should probably apologize. But like... Hm. I dunno. I feel bad for being mean to the teacher, though. But for seals, don't try to get me to do anything when I have my head down on my desk. I like, never sleep in class. So he shoulda been like "oh... something's wrong."

No, I'm not expecting too much. Shut up.

<3

~J*~

I Am So Tired: Part Dos

2009-02-28T12:14:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, I was supposed to go to my friend Ari's house with my Pet Lesbian Penguin, Becca, and Boyfriend. My mom was going to drive me there so she could see there was "adult supervision," and maybe even meet Boyfriend.

I informed my mom that Ari's parents would not be there, but instead, it would be her aunt - a perfectly responsible adult. But no. It was not Ari's mom, so it was not good enough.

I am tired of not only not being able to see Boyfriend outside of school, but Pet Lesbian Penguin - my best friend. I miss her like crazy and I haven't hung out with her outside of school in forever. This would've been a PERFECT opportunity because it would've been SO much fun.

But once again, mother dearest is "not comfortable." It's like she's trying to find excuses to impede on my social life.

She just makes me so angry sometimes.

I hate the weekends.

~J*~

Guilt ><

2009-02-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

My dad's making an effort to get closer to me, I think. Like, he asks - whenever I come over here - if there's anywhere I'd like to go. But I can never think of anything!! And I just feel so guilty. After everything blew up a month or so ago, I mean, I think he does want to make an effort. But I can never think of anything to do, anywhere to go. Just like. Ugh. I don't particularly like my dad a lot of the time - especially not recently - but I just have like, the guiltiest conscience in the world. Ever.

UGHHHHHHHHHH.

This is frustrating.

Oh, and it doesn't help that his wife decided to lecture me on how I'm "fucking away" my high school career half an hour ago. Like, what the eff. The only reason my grades sucked last semester is because my bio and precalc teachers were shitty, and I'm taking two AP classes. But no, apparently, I care more about my social life. And she's trying to make me so cynical, like, "your friends aren't going to be there for you when you need them." I'm not planning on relying on my fucking friends for support. Goddamn. I'm not that fucking retarded.

Just... Ugh.

~J*~

I Am So Tired.

2009-02-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

This shit is really getting on my last nerve. I'm not allowed to go out with my boyfriend because my mom isn't fucking comfortable with it. I'm not asking for overnight acceptance. I'm asking for to be able to GO OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND. Is it really too much to ask?

I'm tired of being "restricted." I can only get on the Internet when I'm at my dad's anymore. Mom's telling me she'll let me on if I call Verizon and sort this wifi bullshit out, but I did it last time. So why the FUCK can't she do it? She pays the goddamn bills.

I am so fucking tired and so fucking pissed off. Is it too much to ask... UGHHH. I'm kind of pretty jealous right now because my Pet Lesbian Penguin and two of my other friends - Boyfriend's BFFLs - are over at his house and I'm at my dad's and I'm not allowed at his house and UGHHHH BLOW MY FUCKING LIFE.

I just miss him like crazy. Constantly. I can never see him outside of school. And just. Ugh. Mother dearest needs to CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

I'm really tired of this.

And I'm tired of missing my two favorite blogs :(

((Tia&Mel))

~J*~

One day.

2009-02-08T10:45:00.001-08:00

Better.
Today is definitely better.
And things will go as they're supposed to.
One day, there won't be any problems.
:)

~J*~

I Can't Stand This.

2009-02-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

I don't blame my mom for not trusting me. But now I'm never going to be able to be alone with my boyfriend. The only way were if my mom were to meet his mom and be sure that his mom was going to be at the house while I was there. And he doesn't want to deal with that. I mean, neither do I, but sometimes you've just got to bite the bullet.

It's not even about sex, you filthy perverts. It's just... wanting to be alone. I just hate this so much. Blah.

~J*~

Wow.

2009-02-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

Hi.

I know I've been gone. I've been severely grounded. Long story, and I really don't feel like publicizing it. Suffice it to say my dad now know's I'm a full-blown GAY MALE.

I think he was just unhappy with the fact that I "lied to him" by not telling him sooner. But he doesn't understand that I didn't think I could tell him. It's just not easy, you know?

So yeah.

I've been without the computer for about a month. I got my phone back a week or so ago. This all happened about a month or so ago. So yeah.

That's pretty much all that's happened.

But yes, I'm still alive.

I don't have the patience to catch up with everyone's blogs.

So Same Idea, Different Words and Clever Girl Tia, I'm sorry mostly to you two, because I mainly read only you two.

Except for Nikki. But she never posts.

~J*~

MySpace Sucks

2009-01-08T15:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah.
It does.
So does Facebook.
So why do I have Facebook?
And why did I get MySpace back last night?

Months ago, I deleted my MySpace with no intentions of getting it back. Lately, I've had the urge to get MySpace back.
Nikki peer pressure-ized me into getting it back, and so... here it is:

Joey's MySpace

I don't know why I did it. No one uses it. Blech.

Whatevz.

So yeah.

Kay.

~J*~

Let's Steal From A Bestie =D

2009-01-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

So one of my best friends,
Nikki, wrote a blog called "Reflecting 2008." The title is pretty self-explanatory. So I thought I'd grand theft blogpost this jaunt and revamp it to make it my own.

Sorry, Nikkster. I had to.

--------

Reflecting 2008 [[~J*~ edition =D]]

2008 seemed like more than just one year. Now that I'm sitting here, in front of my re-working PC, it seems like a billion mini-years, glued into one year of messiness that I can barely remember. At the beginning of 2008, I was in the second half of my sophomore year. Tenth grade really was not anything exciting. The only "exciting" thing that happened occured at the tail end of 2007, when my ex decided to start talking to me again.

Looking back, so much of that drama was not worth it. So not worth it. I don't even remember half - no - any of it. It was all pointless. If I lost friends, I don't remember them, and that's all well and good, because quite frankly, if they've been out of my life this long, then they can stay out.

At the tail end of sophomore year - actually, it might have been the beginning of summer break - I got in touch with an old friend of mine - for a second time. I would say this was a mistake - everything was about him, and I was sick of it - but it led to one of the best things in my life.

This guy's name was Patrick. I had been friends with him in elementary school. He'd lost both his parents, and was living with his grandmother, who spoiled the hell out of him. Then, all of a sudden, in 5th grade, he stopped showing up at school. No one was living in his grandmother's house.

It took me three years to him on MySpace. His grandmother was in a home and he was living with a foster family. I didn't realized how fucked up he was for a year, and in my freshman year, we stopped talking for a couple months. He Facebook'd me an apology, and I stupidly accepted. We were friends up until that fateful summer after sophomore year.

Patrick introduced me to someone via Facebook who I "might be interested in." As soon as I start talking to this person, Patrick tries to steal him for himself. Now, while I was not interested in this person (at the time, anyway), it still royaly pissed me off, and I finally cut him out of my life.

That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Up until then, he'd been nothing but an attention whore, and everything had been about him. I was D.O.N.E.

At the beginning of junior year, the person that Patrick had led me to meet via Facebook began to sit in our happy little stairway crew (XD). Dramadramadrama, fightfightfight, then one magical night at a friend's party, and WHA-BAM, insta-amazing-boyfriendness. I mean, I'd liked him before then, but I guess I kinda didn't know it, you know? I dunno, I was stupid. But now I'm uber happy with him :3

XD

That didn't happen until December. So, basically, all of last year - for the most part - was... well... lame? Haha. Here's hoping this year will be infinitely better.

<3

~J*~

Travis McCoy Is A Douche.

2009-01-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Travis McCoy, of Gym Class Heroes:

KATHRYN ELIZABETH HUDSON (PERRY) IS NOT IMMATURE!!!

Look, asshole.

Don't blame the AMAZING GODDESS THAT IS KATY PERRY because you instigated petty fights, and don't you DARE humiliate her by making a rap about breaking up with her?!?!

Have you ever thought that maybe it was YOU that was immature?!? Maybe it was YOUR fault that things ended like that! Maybe YOU were the one who pissed her off! AT LEAST SHE WAS FAITHFUL! AT LEAST SHE WASN'T SOME HARDCORE BITCH TO YOU!

She deserves so much better, you know? She deserves infinetly better than your ugly, sorry, thugish ass. She makes you feel stupid because she can actually speak ENGLISH, and - you said it yourself - your English sounds as if it comes from a garbage can? SHE'S NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL STUPID, YOU JERK! YOU DECIDE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS, AND NOW YOU REALLLLY HAVE BY FUCKING UP THIS RELATIONSHIP!!

You don't FUCK with Katy Perry! YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT! HER PREACHER FATHER WILL FUCKING SMITE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs'n'kisses,

~J*~

------------

Now that my Chris Crocker moment is over...

Yeah. Travis McCoy and Katy Perry broke up. I guess Perez Hilton proved himself somewhat useful with this bit of juicy gossip. Even though, you know, I can't stand him. But that's my problem.

Anyway.

Hey, I'm kinda wicked bored. I really want to do something right now, and today is the second to last day of break. I was going to go to the mall with my friend Joey, but he has to watch his little sister, and I don't know how long that's going to take. I've texted him like, three times, but I get IGNORED. Jerk.

Abby's dad isn't letting her go outside because they're "going somewhere," which is probably half-B.S., but it's all good... sorta... I just wanna chill with someone! And I miss Abby like crazy. We just hung out yesterday, but like, it was her, me, and Joey, so it wasn't really just me and her. But no. She can't go out. Grrrrrrr.

And Sam is sick. Yeah. There's some stomach thing going around. And stomach things scare me. I don't like them. At all. They hurt. Yeah. So I kinda don't wanna go out, but I do at the same time. We'll see.

We will see.

Mwahahaha.

So yeah. Maybe mall later? I can hope.

If Joey ever texts me back.

Jerk.

~J*~

2009? Really?

2009-01-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

This holiday season feels nothing like the holidays. Christmas didn't feel like Christmas, and it seriously does not feel like 2009.

Resolutions?

To be blunt: Fuck that =D

My attitude towards New Year's Resolutions has been greatly influenced by my mother (seeing as I've lived solely with her for thirteen years, with visitation to my dad's every other weekend). Her attitude - and now mine - is this:

"Why wait until a new year to make a resolution for yourself? As soon as you're not happy with something, and you want to change it, work on it right away. Don't wait for a new year to change it."

So yeah.

My question is: why wait? I mean, why don't just work on what makes you unhappy as soon as you realize the problem? A great deal of resolutions have to do with losing weight. Um, hello, it doesn't hurt to start a new diet and exercise regime right away. I did in the middle of like, October? I don't know if I've lost any weight - it's kind of fallen through, courtesy of the holidays - but it still doesn't hurt to try to get a little healthier right away.

Another popular resolution has to deal with frugal-ness. People want to watch their money this year, especially with the economy as bad as it is. But why wait until the new year? Why not just start saving and cutting back right away? Don't say "That'll be my New Year's Resolution, to spend less money." Start right away!

So yeah. I've never understood the resolutions, and I don't think I ever will.

Moving on to more trivial matters........

Who watched Carson Daily's New Years Eve thinger last night? Show of hands?

I watched it for one thing and one thing only.

Actually, one person.

Three guesses who.

I'll give you a hint: she's the breakout artist of 2008 and likes KISSING GIRLS and hates indescisive boyfriends that seem HOT AND COLD.

C'mon.

I know you know who I mean.

KATY FUCKING PERRY.

Duh.

Yeah. She was amazing. Definitley not the outrageous outfit I was hoping for, but she still looked fabulous.

"But, Joey, her voice sounds horrible live!"

Okay, first of all: no, it's not HORRIBLE. Second of all: she is not the best singer. But at least she's not lip-synching to all of her songs. She's proud of the voice she has, and she doesn't hide behind electronic enhancement in her shows to try to make her voice sound better, like Britney - even though I love her, too.

Her voice is just so unique, her music so catchy, and she puts on a fucking FABULOUS show. I'd do anything to see her in concert - nay, I'd do anything to MEET her.

Ilovehersomuch,morethanagayboyshouldloveafemale.

Okay.

Wellllllll, I'm going to go binge on Katy Perry and be bored all of New Year's Day.

And maybe have some egg nog....

~J*~

Last Night

2008-12-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

Last night was so amazing. The Spirit sucked, but spending time with him was amazing.

I never wanted it to end.

'Nuff said.

<3

~J*~

The Day Of

2008-12-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

I have a date tonight.

=D

I'm so damn excited. I really like him. He really likes me. We actually go to the same school XD I can't freaking wait. Gahh. We're going to see either The Spirit or Yes Man. Not sure which; they both start at roughly the same time. I can't wait to see him. Haven't seen him since Tuesday. And I know that sounds lame.

"Joey, that's not that long ago. Take a pill de chill."

I know, but it feels like forever. I promise, I'll try to stop being lame.

Anyway...

I went shopping yesterday. Yay. Sadly, I was alone. Boo. Yeah, my dad and Kim wanted to go, and I went with, but all of my friends were busy and such, so yeah... I got a really cute coat from Old Navy. It's like, black courdoroy (wow I totally butchered that word), and the inside of the hood is black and red checkered, and the zipper is underneath the buttons and yeah :3 Really cute. And then I got two t-shirts at Hot Topic. One is All Time Low (goddamn, I love them!) and it has a pink octopus on it :3 I named him Alex. After the lead singer. Because I'm just that amazing.

(Pshtyeahrightokaykthnx)

But I came downstairs with the shirt on this morning and the conversation with Kim went as follows:

Kim: "Whoa... that's pink on your shirt."

Me: "Hm."

Kim: "You gonna wear that tonight?"

Me: "Mhm."

Kim: "Well... people talk."

Me: "That's nice. People can talk all they want."

---

Clearly, I'm not out to her or my dad yet.

Yet.

Anyway, I also got a Paramore shirt. It's black, and the front has orange fading to yellow, fading to blue, and it says "We Are Paramore." Ish cute. :)

So yeah.

Okay, wellllll, I think I'm done rambling about now. I'm leaving in an hour :D

EXCITED!!!

Hehe.

Okay.

Hugs&kisses

~J*~

Merry Christmas... I Think?

2008-12-25T09:15:00.000-08:00

So it definitely feels NOTHING like Christmas. It's really sunny and green outside. Gr. And there's like, nothing Christmasy in my house. I'm going to my dad's in about forty-five minutes, so maybe it'll be a little more Christmas spirit-y there.

But yeah.

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone.

Because I don't discriminate in good holiday wishes :D

Haha.

Currently listening to: The Dresden Dolls. Maybe THAT'S why I'm not in the most Christmasy mood XD

~J*~

Do Me A Favor?

2008-12-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

I made a video about this too, on my vlog, and now apparently it's a problem on Blogger. You see, I went to middle school with a few kids - one stands out in particular, by the name of Arjun Chaabra (pedophiles, feel free) - who pretty much made my life a living hell. And now they're trying again over the internet.

I know it seems like I'm "letting them get to me" by giving them this "attention," but I'm going to make this clear one more time.

You are pathetic. Just so you know. "joeytruth" - a very LAME parody on my last name - i know who you are. You must think I'm stupid, because you only have videos on yourselves on YouTube. Granted, you only made the YouTube in the first place to harass me. Seriously. Grow up and get some fucking balls. You're going to sit there and give me shit because, what, you have nothing better to do with your own life? Wow. I'll say it again: You Are Pathetic.

So, faithful readers, feel free to spam them. They left a comment on my last post.

((Thanks, Nikki, I know you helped :3))

Anyway...

Sososo yesterday, we only had like, four classes. It was the day before break, and at lunch, my lesbian Rosie came in the stairway saying they were letting us out early because of a water main break. So we went to fifth period and they let us go and yeahhh :3

I gotz a few extra minutes wiff mah boyyy XD

Anywayyyy.

So yeah. Break's starting off kinda slow. Nothing special for Christmas Eve. I'm going to my dad's tomorrow for Christmas, then on Friday I'm going out with Jayson to chill at the mall. Hopefully. He better be able to get a ride -_-

I was supposed to go to church tonight with my mom and her friend - who happens to be the mother of one of my really good friends - but my mom was like "i dont' feel like going," and I almost went just to chill with Joey. Not me. Other Joey. My friend Joey. XD

Anyway.

[/ramble]

Okay, I think I'm done.

I'm gonna go figure out why I can't get on AIM and MSN and the such.

Tee tee why ell.

<3

~J*~

Well shit.

2008-12-19T16:08:00.001-08:00

As some of my readers know by now - the ones who know me, or overhear me in class - my mom was laid off a month or so ago. She has had no luck finding a job - not even a temp. I was freaking out before, but now I'm terrified, as is she.

If she cannot find a job my mid-January, I would have to move in with my father, and she would move in with her sister in Pittsburgh. I would stay with my dad to finish out the school year, then, if it's up to me - which it might not be, because he can be a tool bag - I'll move to Pittsburgh over the summer and finish out my senior year at a local high school that one of my cousins graduated from that's very similar to the one I'm going to now.

Leaving terrifies me. And my mom is mad, because I'm staying with my dad, and she thought I'd go with her. She's furious, and I hurt her really bad by telling her I wanted to go with my dad, if just for a couple months. For the longest time, I have said over and over that:
a) I do not want to leave these dogs.
b) I do not want to live with Kim.
c) My dad doesn't understand me.

I've promised my mom time and time again that I wouldn't live with my dad if I had to. And now it's an actual, very real possibility, and I'm terrified. I don't want to go to Pittsburgh and start over somewhere new. I may hate this state, but I've grown up here. I don't know anything else. And, yes, part of it is my friends. Next year, Sam will have graduated, as will my other senior friends, but what about everyone else? And Abby? She'll be living with her grandmother, close-ish to where my dad lives (less than 10 minute drive), and I'll miss her like hell. And, of course, other people.

If I am forced to stay with my dad for however many months, the plus side is I will probably get my license. Who knows, maybe even a car.

(As Ellen Paige said in Juno: WHOA, DREAM BIG!)

If this happens, transportation will be a million times easier. I'll be able to see the three people I'm closest to easier, even 250 miles away. I'd visit every opportunity I got.

But I'm so scared.

Leaving has never been so real before, and I'm terrified.

~J*~

So I Haven't Posted Since Saturday... And It's THURSDAY?!?!?

2008-12-18T14:51:00.000-08:00

So.

So.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I love you!! I promise. I've just been too caught up in things to really focus on... well, much of anything. School included. Yet somehow, I magically have an A in precalculus.

SAY WHAT?!?!?

Yeah really.

And we got our PSAT results. 1710 for yours truly, out of 2200, I believe. I know someone that got 2130. I'm fucking JEALOUS. I wish I was that smart ><

I have two C's right now. Biology in psychology. The 'ologys don't like me. And if that wasn't bad grammar, I have no clue what is. =D

Life is really good right now, and I'm exceedingly happy. I just have to focus more on school rather than... erm... social issues.

But I can't help that my thoughts get carried away! ...Can I?

I've been texting so much over the past four days. My mom's gonna freak. Like, it's unlimited, but I have "better things to do with my time."

((Not really, but let her live in her own little fantasy world :D))

Everyone is finding someone, including me, and that makes me really happy. It's like, perfect timing - right around Christmas. The present everyone wants - someone to hold and be with.

Nothing could be better.

<3

~J*~

Kara Is My Lover. Her Parties Are Orgy-Tastic

2008-12-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

So yeah =D Pretty much started off everyone was in the living room watching this movie called "How High," which was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Homg total straight boy movie. And then people started showing up. And my friend Jayson was like "I'm not able to come" and then he showed up and I was like :DD

XD

So yeah. There were lotsa people. We all just kinda chilled and talked and molseted (mainly Kara) and yuppp.

Then we went on the trampoline out back and this guy and this girl were swallowing each others' tongues and they disappeared for like, half an hour. So yeah. Sketch? I think so.

So yeah. We chilled out there. Literally. Chilled. Fcken freezingggg. Then we went back in for more molestation and yeahh just hung out and talked.

Wewt :D

Not as much dancing this time though. That kinda saddens me. But meh.

^_^

~J*~

Bipolar Friday

2008-12-12T13:28:00.000-08:00

How was my day?

Bipolar.

I started this morning off with a ride to school from mom, at which time we got in a huge fight because she was being slightly stereotypical and she started yelling and cursing at me when I was trying to be rational. She made a comment that I dont' feel like repeating, simply because I would have to type out the longevity of the argument, but basically it felt as if she were hitting below the belt in regards to my sexuality. Not that she's a homophobe or anything, because she's not. But... yeah.

So needless to say, my morning was fucked six ways to Sunday. I was quite and emo-rrific with my friends and didn't really talk to anyone. Jayson made me smile a little bit, but... blargh. Then all through second period (today was a block day, so an hour and a half of precalculus... oh boy...) I was blahish. I didn't understand any of the shit we were doing, and eventually I was just like "fuck this, I give up." Then in fourth period psychology, things started to look up a bit. For no reason, I just started feeling giggly.

Then Jayson proceeded to rape me at lunch, and the rest of the day was pretty much a breeze.

By rape, I mean he found a particular ticklish spot and wouldn't let up. So yeah. I basically beat the shit out of him, but he didn't really notice. Yikes.

In sixth period video production, we had a sub, so we just watched a video on editing.

Then in theater, we talked a little about the performance last Saturday with the Text Alive coordinators, and yeahhh..

OH.

This girl, Nicole, said something uberfunny in psychology.

"Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lay there."

It made me laugh. A lot. So I thought I'd share that with you.

I'm looking forward to Kara's party tomorrow night =] Excitement abounds!!

~J*~

Remember How I Said I Can't Haz Cookie Dough?

2008-12-11T16:24:00.000-08:00

I had cookie dough :3

They were in these little pre-shaped cookies.

HOMG SO GOOD!! They were like, the cookie dough from the ice cream.

Nomnom yummerific.

Yeah that was last night. Just thought I'd share that with you.

But now I have Swiss Miss hot chocolate :3

Yummy.

So guess what?

My biology teacher is a sadist. No lie. He likes seeing his students put their hands in ice water for five minutes straight, just to break toothpicks to simulate enzyme action.

Huhhh??

Yeah, I don't even really get it myself. We were simulating enzyme action on like, substrates and such, and breaking toothpicks as fast as possible, and for the last part of the lab, one person per group had to put their hands in ice water for five minutes. Holy shit, it hurt. Like, they were in there FOR FIVE MINUTES. And then I broke like, three toothpicks at a time. (There were ten). If I kept my hands still in the water, they felt warm, but if I moved them HOMG OUCHIESSSS.

But if Mr. Turner is a sadist, then I suppose I'm a masochist for volunteering for our group. This girl, Mariah, wanted to do it, but I said I would, she was all "okay." And then she tried and was like "OMG I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T DO THIS!"

Soyeah.

I can haz really red hands?

Oh, question.

Does anyone know how long it takes to receive a letter in Illinois, sent from Maryland? Because I sent my BFFL, Nikki, a letter for Christmas on the sixth, and she still hasn't gotten it. Which is greatly depressing me, because there was a surprise inside. You know, like my Reese's Puffs yesterday morning?

Yeah, I had a little rolly giraffe from Madagascar 2 in my cereal. It's my new favorite thing.

Yeah.

OH.

Jayson gave me a present yesterday. A lubricated, ultra-ribbed Trojan condom. Yeah. I was walking home with Abby today and I blew it up on the side of the road. It looked so wrong. I got funny looks. And a car honked at me. Then I let it deflate and it landed in the street.

I wonder what people will think when they see it?

It was gross. It was like, slimy. Stupid lubricant.

God, I hate that word.

~J*~

I Can Haz Sweet Tooth? AND POT BREATH!?

2008-12-10T15:27:00.001-08:00

So we went to the store yesterday and didn't get any good sweets. We have some chocolate chip cookie dough that I really want to eat without cooking (I'z a cookie dough addict) but nooo, I'm not allowed.

**le sigh**

Sweet tooth like shit.

So yesterday, my mommeh picked me up from school and we were in the car and she was all "I smell pot." How does she know what pot smells like? No idea. Probably had a couple stoner days.

Well, we figure it's the bus in front of us, some kid lighting up in back. The bus turns, and she still smells it. We get in the store, I'm talking, she leans in, sniffs, and goes "Your breath smells like pot."

WTF.

Now my mother thinks I'm a pothead. As if she doesn't have enough reason to NOT trust me ><

In other news....

Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?

I made a new vlog.

Now I just have to edit and upload it.

I've been totally neglecting it because blogging is sort of infinitely cooler 'cause I can express my writing easier, and yeahh. So yeah :3

Okay.

I'm done rambling for now.

<3

~J*~

That Was INFINITELY Easier Than I Anticipated

2008-12-06T11:16:00.001-08:00

Sosososososo.

I know you're all dying to hear how my performance went this morning at the Shakespeare Theater.

Two words.

Fab.

Ulous.

I mean, this morning when I woke up at 6:00, I wasn't even nervous. Of course, we got backstage, and I was terrified. Then they did the prologue, and scene one, and OH MY GOSH IT'S OUR TURN!!!

But me and my scene partner, JJ, were cued, and I didn't even CARE that I was standing in an angel costume in front of however many people. I was like WHA-BAM, character, projection, voi la.

I'm kinda mad I didn't get a bigger part now ><

But yeahhh...

Some of the other schools sucked hardcore. Some kids forgot their lines and I couldn't hear them - and I was in the SECOND ROW.

Our school had to be in the top three. At least.

The scene before us - my friend Jake was in it - was INCREDIBLE. But since we were scene two - they were scene one - we didn't get to see it, because we were already backstage. So yeah :(

BUT MY MOM BOUGHT THE DVD.

Hehehe.

Then two scenes after us, the balcony scene, was OMGSOGOOD. They did this really clever concept that was like... clever.

See, they had like, these old people in a retirement home and the old man had a really big remote and in front of them the two people playing Romeo and Juliet were performing, and every time the old man changed the channel, different people came on in different costumes and continued with the dialogue.

SO WITTY.

Loved it.

Best scene.

But now I have some sad news.

I did not get to take any pictures. =[
I know this is very saddening, and I'm sorry, because I SERIOUSLY meant to. But I totally forgot. *le sigh*

Oh well.

Maybe someone took a picture and will put it on Facebook?

Or something?

~J*~

I Must Remember to Bring my Camera to School Tomorrow!

2008-12-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try my hardest to bring my camera to school tomorrow to get people to take pictures of my costume for theater to post on Facebook, and on here.

I know people are dying to see it.

**cough**Tia**cough**

**sneeze**Sam**sneeze**

So I've been hoping Ms Roots would cut my "scene partner" from the scene, because he misses cues and doesn't stay in the scene. But, quite frankly, it works a bit better with him, because there are certain bits we do.

I wish I could have it recorded to post on YouTube, but I dont' think that will be possible. Which sucks. But blahh. I guess the fewer people that see it, the better.

I think I'll put my camera in my bag tonight so I don't forget it tomorrow.

Anygay...

Sorry I've been inactive for the past two days. Internet issues out the wazoo. So yeah. Inactivity might be frequentish.

Okay.

I think I'm going to try to write now maybe possibly. I've been writing quite a bit lately...ish.
=D

~J*~

Stressing Out Much?

2008-12-01T19:03:00.001-08:00

I'm so scared.

Clever Girl Tia, your reassurances mean a lot, but stage fright can't be helped.

The performance at the Shakespeare Theatre is on Saturday at about 9:AM. I have to be there at 8:15. No one in my theater class is really taking it seriously, Ms. Roots is pissed, and I think we're kind of majorly F U C K E D.

I can't tell you how damn nervous I am. I mean, I know it's not many lines, but still, I have to stand up in front of a lot of people and act in a fucking ANGEL COSTUME. Gah. I thought a white dress shirt, light jeans, and a halo would be enough, but NO. White dress shirt, white pants, and WINGS. And we have to arrive at the Theatre IN COSTUME.

So I'm going to be walking around the nation's capitol looking like a fucking ANGEL.

I'm so not putting the wings on until I get in the damn place.

I don't know why I'm dreading this week so much. I just so totally want Saturday to be over. Like, really bad.

Gah.

Why did I do this to myself?

Gah.

Just... gah.

~J*~

Pittsburgh... I Miss It Already

2008-11-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

Usually, when we leave my aunt's house in Pittsburgh to come back to sucky ol' Maryland, I suffer from a bout of depression. Today was no different.

I also suffer from a realization of how much I absolutely hate this state.

Not just because of the shitty school systems and the too-warm weather, but just BECAUSE.

You know when you were four years old and someone asked you something and you'd say "just because?" Yeah. It's like that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be back in familiar surroundings, and to have one of my two lovely Pomeranians back.

Gizmo, the other one, is still boarded at the vet, because they aren't open on Sunday, and so we couldn't get him =[ He was terrified at first (My mom obviously called and checked in on him!) but then he started to warm up to the people there. I'm going to school late tomorrow just to pick him up. I miss him. He's seriously exclusively MY dog.

He loves me the mostest =]

I just hope he doesn't hate me too much ><

So I'll give you a quick rundown of my Thanksgiving holiday!! **confetti falls from sky and joyous music plays**

Thursday: The five hour journey to Pittsburgh, spent mostly blasting my iPod and singing. When we arrived, dinner was just about ready. We stayed at my aunt Ina's place, with my cousins Chris (19) and Matt (13). For dinner, my uncle Tom's brother and sister-in-law showed up, as well as my aunt Mim and her husband Danny, as well as her son Ricky. So we ate, and the table I sat at consisted of: Chris, Matt, Ricky, Tom's brother, and Danny. They talked about action movies and video games and guns, and I felt like an utter disgrace because of the overload of testosterone around me and, well, due to my feminine tendencies, I could barely partake in the conversation. My masculinity was slightly redeemed that night when me, Matt, and Danny were in the basement, Matt playing some Star Wars video game, and Danny and I had a discussion about horror/gory movies.
I guess that's one brownie point for me.

Friday: Um... nothing really. Just kinda hung out, I think. My memory of Friday isn't too great... Guess nothing really memorable happened. Except I finished the ninth Anita Blake novel :P

Saturday: We went to my aunt Mim's house for a while. My mom, Mim, and Ina (they're sisters, in case that wasn't clear) have a long-time friend named Rochelle, who came to visit them. So we just kinda hung out. That morning, I started the third House of Night novel, and finished it that same night. You must read the series. It's addictive. Slightly amateur in style, but addictive. That night, my aunt Ina and Chris went to a Penguins game - they won, woo! - and Matt had a friend come over. So me and my mom just read.

Sunday: The car ride home that should've been five hours was in actuality, seven, thanks to traffic. This was spent, once again, listening to music and reading. Honestly, the car ride up is so much better than the one back. Because, on the one back, I know I have to come home. A home I really want to get away from.

So yeah. That was my Thanksgiving holiday. I hope everyone else's was equally wonderful!!!

~J*~

PS:

2008-11-26T12:03:00.001-08:00

Everyone, have a marvelous Thanksgiving. I hope the turkey - or vegitarian food? - is fabulous. Just don't eat too much!!

I'll be going to Pittsburgh, so I probably won't be blogging again until Sunday night or Monday some time. But yeah!!

Have fun!!

Be safe!!

Eat well!!

Be thankful!!

~J*~

My Gratitude List

2008-11-26T10:50:00.000-08:00

Feel free to repost your own version in your own blog.

My Gratitude List

I Am Grateful:

1) that I have a mother who can support me and that I can trust, and be myself around.

2) that I have Abby, my best friend since seventh grade, who I can tell anything to and not be judged.

3) that I have Sam, my best friend since ninth grade, who I have spent many a late night on the phone with, talking about everything and nothing, laughing till we cry.

4) that I have two dogs, Misty and Gizmo, the barky, four pound furballs that somehow know when I'm not feeling at my best and try, in their doggy ways, to cheer me up.

5) that I have my Stairway Crew, who all provide me with the energy and laughs to make it through the day.

6) that I have my iPod, which provides me with the music I need to save my sanity, or gives me the inspiration to write.

7) for my creativity with words; without it, I would be backed up with stress and anger, no way to get it out.

8) for my cell phone, which saves me from boredom at the most boring times with random text messages from friends.

9) for books - Anita Blake in particular - which have provided me with the inspiration to start taking writing even more seriously.

10) for Nikki, who I met last summer, and even though she's 600 miles away, I feel like I've known her for forever. She is like a little sister to me, and I love her. And let's not forget Paige, who always makes our phone conversations even more interesting.

11) for Ashley, my tall emangsta girl and mentor. She has provided me with so much good advice, and it has saved me from making stupid mistakes.

12) for Laurell K. Hamilton, who pops out Anita Blake books at the rate that bunnies reproduce. Seriously, these books are fabulous. Read them.

13) for Clever Girl Tia, who writes an amazing blog that I can look forward to reading every day - and usually get quite a few laughs from.

I think that about sums it up.

=]

And, of course, I love you all - whoever's reading this.

~J*~

It's Happened

2008-11-24T19:31:00.001-08:00

I have another blog.
It was bound to happen eventually.
/addiction

http://the-writer-ive-become.blogspot.com

~J*~

I Hate Living in an Apartment

2008-11-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

So. I got to stay home today. So I only technically have one and a half days of school this week =D

"Why did you stay home, Joey? Bad boy, playing hooky."

NUH-UH.

Our washer is broken, and I have NO clean clothes. Maintenence was supposed to come fix it today, but they're still not here, so I may run a couple things over to Abby's in a couple hours... I dunno yet.

Yeah yeah, I should do laundry more regularly. Sue me.

So I've been reading all day, and watching TV, and having narcolepsy attacks. Just randomly sleeping, even though I slept enough. Probably some sleep debt. Yeah, we read about it in psychology.

Sleep debt - n; a result of sleep deprivation, which you "pay off" by sleeping more.

That's a rough definition. But I think I got rid of a little of that debt today.

Wheee! Hehe.

As I'm typing this, maintenence has knocked on the door, and they are now working on the washer. Yay! I get to clean clothes and go to school tomorrow - in clean clothes.

*Phew*

Weirdly, I miss school.

I know.

ODD.

I mean, I don't exactly dislike school, but at the same time, I just don't wanna go all the time. But I kinda missed it today.

Except for the test in psychology I was supposed to take.

Yikes.

I studied, though!!

Too bad my pet "lesbian" has my book.

Damn you, Sam.

~J*~

Twilight, Twilight, Twilight (I can haz review?)

2008-11-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

I'll explain my process to you before I go further, 'kay?

I'm a die-hard movie fan - usually some form of horror or thriller, or most things with a supernatural element. Except for sci-fi. But when I see a movie, I automatically begin to mentally tear it apart and nitpick at the negative things. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I hate the movie. But I critique the hell out of it. It's rare that I find a movie I get so sucked into that I don't critique it at all. I found one today called "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon," but we'll save that for a rainy day.

In any case, most of my problems with Twilight were in the acting - and, of course, the horrid CGI, but the budget is limited. Everything else deserves nothing but praise, because over all, they did a miraculous job. So much better than I was expecting.
__________

So I'll just start with the basics: adaptation

There are slight spoilers, but nothing that'll ruin everything for you

The book and the film were not identical twins, but it is like that with every movie adapted from print-on-page to the silver screen. Harry Potter, for example. While most of those films so far have remained faithful to the books, they are never 100% similar, nor can they ever be - generally for time's sake, or because narration in films becomes bothersome.

In the adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's bestselling, cliched (yet remarkably written) tale of the love between mortal and immortal beings, things were changed around, added, and taken away - mostly for time's sake, and the sake of the interest of the audience. For example, three-fifths of the novel is about Edward Cullen and Isabella (Bella) Swan falling in love. It is not until the latter two-fifths that Lorent, James, and Victoria show up and begin to cause trouble. However, in the movie, two innocent lives are lost to these three vampires.

Other than that, the adaptation was very good. Things were switched around, but it didn't affect the overall outcome of the movie.
____________

The acting

Kristen Stewart was phenominal. As soon as I read the novel, an image of the young actress - famous for Panic Room, Speak, and The Messengers. And what do you know - she is casted for the role. That made me ecstatic - she was absolutely flawless. She played the role perfectly - from the clumsiness, right down to the social issues. It is apparent that she is good at whatever theme she is acting under, and her career will definitely be a successful one. My fear, however, is that she will be best known for Bella Swan in the Twilight saga adaptation. I sincerely hope she is not done after these films are all complete.

------

Then, of course, Nikki Reed, playing the role of Rosalie. Nikki is most famous for the teen drama Thirteen, which I have yet to see. I did, however, see her in a movie called Mini's First Time, also starring Alec Baldwin. Her performance as a cold-hearted, vixen bitch was mindblowing, and she once again takes it to that same icy level with Rosalie.

------

Robert Pattinson is another story, however. Described in the book, Edward is supposed to be a gorgeous, godly creature. I guess, in his own way, Pattinson fits the bill. Everyone has their type - he's just not mine. But that was not the problem with me.

The problem was his acting.

By the end of the movie, Pattinson simply was Edward Cullen. However, I think he was simply focusing way too much on sounding American, and that was detracting from his full potential at playing the part. Obviously, playing Edward, he needed to sound "American," so not much could have been done about that. But I just think that's what was detracting from the acting itself.

------

Taylor Lautner, the boy that played Jacob, famous for... well... nothing... Well, let's just say it's apparent why he's famous for nothing. To put it nicely, his acting could use some serious work.

____________

Everyone else basically ranged from pretty good to really good on the acting scale, but, to be frank, I just don't feel like going through all of them XD

But yeahhh that about sums it up!!
=D

Go see it.
Now.

~J*~

Monster and Bank Robberies... Say What?

2008-11-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

I had three doses of caffiene today.
My heart hurt.
Is that a bad thing?

I had a cup of coffee this morning and a Snickers "Blasted" bar... or something to that effect. Basically a Snickers bar with caffiene and taurine. Then a can of Monster.

God.

I love Monster.

Seriously, if you haven't had it, go buy a can at your nearest convenience store slash supermarket. 'Gasmic. Preferably green or red ("Assault.") The blue is basically just "diet," and orange ("Khaos") is somewhat of an aquired taste, as is yellow ("M-80"), because they're both juice blends. As is the purple ("MIXX'D"), but really, that just tastes like grape soda. Then there are the coffee flavors.
Mmmmm.
I can haz mocha flavor, plz?

Wow, I just spent like, so long talking about M O N S T E R. But it's just that amazing.

Anyway.

So I live in an eastern state. And in this eastern state there is a town of about 7,500 people with not-exactly-defined "city limits." It's quite a small town, depending on what you think the limits are. But anyway.
In our extended fifth period, my friend Laura texted me.

"be careful going home!"

My response: "Why?"

"someone robbed a bank in *****ville and now they're in *******ville (my town) and they're armed."

Basically, it was all over the news. There were three suspects, and they shot one down and killed him, and they found the second and they think they know where the third is. So yeah.

But it was a really big deal. My high school isn't in my town, so it wasn't affected too bad, but basically the kids that live in the general area where they thought the guy was had to go to this middle school in the area - my middle school, no less. My BFF main girl Abby goes to a high school not far from the middle school, so she was on lockdown. But they eventually let everyone go home.

Good thing I stayed after school ><

I'm terrified. In like, two weeks or less, we have that performance in the Shakespeare Theater in DC, and gahhh I'm going to die. We had rehearsal today after school - my theater class is seventh period, so that was convenient - and just... I mean, it's slowly coming together, but the guy that I'm doing the scene with isn't the brightest bulb in the tanning bed (Juno reference :3), and like... I dunno, I'm just really nervous.
GAH.
=[

I want to back out, but I think it's too late.

FUDGENUTTERS.

~J*~

PS: I really need material for my advice blog. It's so neglected =[ **hugs blog**
kthnxguys

The Burts and the Bees

2008-11-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

So I have a new addiction.

I haven't worn chapstick for M O N T H S. No lie. The last time I put anything on my lips, it was Vaseline, because I didn't have chapstick, and my lips hurt so bad. I don't know how I've survived this long. Seriously. My lips were like a desert. Good thing no one's kissed me for two years :P

But I really needed something last night so I asked my mom if she had any chapstick, and she gave me this Burt's Bees Lip Balm and I'm like, addicted to it. I swear, they put crack in it, so when you lick your lips, you want more. Because I've been putting some on like, every hour today. It's a bit riDUNKulous.

Yeah.

I said it.

Got a problem?

Who you tryna front?

[/britneyspearsreference]

My theater class is so bad. That's what I get for signing up for a class with like, one junior, one sophomore, and the rest -- FRESHMEN.
((No offense to the ninth graders of the world... unless you're obnoxious.))
But seriously, they don't know when to shut the eff up, and we have a performance in a little over a week for the general public at the Shakespeare Theatre in Washington D.C. for a scene from Romeo and Juliet and Jesus Christ I'm so nervous!! But these kids can't shut the eff up, so we're so far behind in rehearsing and seriously, they're screwing us all over.

So we have to divide up the roles a bit, right? There are only eight speaking roles, and Ms. Roots divided them up so fourteen people can have speaking parts. There are three girls playing Lady Capulet (Juliet's mother, for those of you unfamiliar). Well, today, one of them kept giggling a little at one point for whatever reason, and Ms. Roots said "There are other girls that wanted this role," and the girl took it the wrong way and stormed off and the entire class decided to go wild and Ms. Roots got really upset and went into her office. Meanwhile, me and this guy Max are trying to get everyone to shut up by telling them that not only are they screwing THEMSELVES over by talking so much, but they're screwing the people that DO care over, too.
Ms. Roots came back out of her office and gave a long speech and she started crying and people felt bad and I wanted to hug her, but then I'd have seemed like a teacher's pet, so I didn't XD But yeah... it was awful. She was my English teacher last year, second semester, and I really like her, she's fairly awesome.
=]
So yeah. It's just really frustrating because, while I have a bit part, I want to actually REHEARSE so I don't make a giant fool of myself in front of zillions of people.
So yeah.
Nerves much?

Well, I do believe that's about it.
TTFN<3

~J*~

--Currently binging on MayDay Parade--

The Life Story You HAVEN'T Been Waiting For

2008-11-18T16:17:00.000-08:00

So I've realized that I haven't had an actual really long post, like, detailed and meaningful, like all the other good bloggers do quite often. But I've always sort of wondered: what do I talk about? Do I talk about me? I don't really like talking about myself too much; I start to feel conceited. So what do I talk about?

Maybe I'll welcome you to my life a little bit. How about a life story?
I suppose this entails talking about myself, but oh well. Maybe it'll get some of my writer's block out of my skull, eh?
No, I'm not Canadian.

A few posts ago, I said I would get into my whole "coming out thing." I guess that's kinda where my life really begins.

I was thirteen, and I was desperatly "in love" with a girl. Yes. A girl. I'll call her R. I was on MySpace, checking bulletins and the such, and I saw a survey from her. Since I felt so strongly about her, I was obviously stalking her.
On this survey, it was said that R felt bisexual guys were "hot." So I figured I would tell her I was bisexual so she would think I was hot and she'd want me. So tell her I did, and still, nothing change.
It was then I realized - oh shit. I really do like boys.

I spent the next year and a half trying to convince myself that I wasn't gay, simply because - and I told my life coach, Diana, this - I was scared for the kids I would one day have, and I didn't want them to face the torment of being made fun of for having two daddies.

During this period - in eigth grade - I became close to Abby. You see, as the hit movie Juno begins:
It started with a chair.
Our friendship actually started with a short obnoxious closetcase named "C," who Abby was dating at the time. A huge fight broke out between the three of us, things were said, misunderstandings were made, and I dated Abby for a week. She broke up with me on the way to the first date. Partly because she was in love with another boy, and she knew - before I did - that I was gay.
It was after that that we began to get really close. While she was carrying a spinny chair out to the dumpster.

Me - **doubletake** Abby?
Abby - **looks around, sees me** You live here?!
Me - You live here?!
**Laugh and talk**
So yeah. We began to hang out and wha-bam. Just add sexual harrassment, insta-friendship.

At the start of ninth grade, I met a girl named Ashely. She had changed my life, and I'm not exaggerating. She has given me so much great advice, and she helped me so much through the period described next.

In ninth grade, I met a boy named "D." D was dating a girl at the time, but somehow I knew he wasn't exactly the straightest stick in the forest.

(Oh yeah. I'm witty.)

It was a sort of love at first sight, and a mutual friend introduced us. One day after school, D asked me out, and we began seeing each other after school for two and a half months. Those were some of the best months of my life. I was so damn happy. And then, a couple days before Christmas, he had to end it all.
Oh well.

I was miserable until the following August. I know. Bella without Edward, anyone? It's pathetic, I know, but I was just so deeply in love with him, and I seriously thought he felt the same way.
But what about the girlfriend, you ask. D told me he told the girl, and I was naive enough to believe him. It wasn't until months after our relationship had ended that I found out he'd lied. To be blunt, he's a compulsive liar.

During this period, Ashley helped me a lot, by putting up with my whining and complaining and stubbornness. She wasn't afraid to be blunt with me, and I thank her for that more than you can know.

It is the following spring after the break up that I met Sam, and my life has never been the same. She has made it so much better. She and Abby both have just made me such a better person, and I've changed so much because of them. When I met Sam, I really thought that she would be one of the first friends that faded into the shroud of memories after she graduated. Little did I know we'd spend almost every night the following year, up until even now, on the phone, talking about everything, talking about nothing.

The following summer I met Nikki. You don't understand how close I feel to her, even though she's at least six hundred miles away. I feel like while I'm giving her as best advice from my two years of extra experience that I can, while she helps me in more ways than she knows - simply by being there, and listening when I need somone to listen. Even when I don't want to hear the truth, she gives it to me like it needs to be given.

I had to come out to my mom three times. Once when I told her I was bisexual - that was a cry-fest - and twice for her to understand that I am, in fact, gay. The last time was particularly emotional - it was over the phone, with Diana, who moderated the whole affair. My mother is not a homophobe. She is a more accepting mother than I could have hoped for. But she is scared for me, and I understand that.

I still have not come out to my dad.

Maybe I won't, because I don't want to deal with him any longer than I have to. While he is not an asshole to me, he is to my mother, and sometimes he is an asshole to her through me. He uses me to hurt her, thanks to whatever grudge he holds against her for whatever he thinks she did twelve years ago, when they got divorced.

Blah.

But let's move back to the present!!!
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Today. Lunch was so much fun. It started off with leaving psychology. I tried to drag Rosie (mentioned in the blog about the Halloween party) to our stairway, and she was trying to go to her place, wherever that may be. Regardless, we were pulling against each other, which resulted in banging each other against the lockers and grunts that sounded quite sexual. The girl, "R," mentioned earlier, saw this and got quite confused.

Me - Hi, R!
R - Um... hi **runs into bathroom**
**Me and Rosie continue to pull at each other in suggestive positions**
**Mae walks up**
Mae - Joey, you're so bi!
Me - NUH UH!

**gigglegiggleSNORT** it was funny.
And then in the stairway, Sam was messing with me, so I attacked her, which led to a fight while we scooched our asses across the floor.
Oh my God.
It was amazing.
XD

But yeah.

=]
Well I think I'm done wasting your time.
Adios.
(That means goodbye)

<3
~J*~

One Day, and I Already Mess Up... Sort Of?

2008-11-18T12:35:00.001-08:00

So yesterday I did good with the eating less. I ate an apple and a teeny piece of banana bread for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and leftover lo mein for dinner, followed by five caramel creams. My new workout of 100 crunches, 5 ten second squats, and 30 minutes of walking was thrown in there.

Today was a different story.

When I'm done typing this, I am going to work out. But I ate more than I would've liked to. The peanut butter bagel this morning was fine. Sandwich for lunch? Sure. But then I fell into my pattern of eating when I get home once again. I used to not eat lunch at all at school and eat when I came home and ususally binge a bit on junk food.
Well, today when I got home, I made one Lean Pocket, ate a handful of cheez-its, two squares of peppermint bark Ghiardelli, and a banana.
Ugh.
I feel ewey.
So I'll binge on Semi Precious Weapons :D
I have been since school let out, though... I've been music binging a lot lately. Katy Perry, Lily Allen , MayDay Parade , Danger: Radio , and Semi Precious Weapons.
/music whore

~J*~

Self Esteem? What Self Esteem?

2008-11-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

I'm so unhappy.

Ever since I left that party last night, I've been having the BIGGEST self-confidence issues. I don't like my body. I shan't deny, I have a decent face, but my body is like **flab** and I hate it. So I was being all emo last night and then my "mentor" Ashley IMed me this really long IM because I was bitching to her about not being happy with myself and it made me cry happy tears.
So basically, I'm starting a workout regimine. 100 crunches a day, 10 squats, 30 minutes of walking OR a Tae Bo tape, 100 butt clenches - yes, butt clenches, get the giggles out of your system now - and maybe some stuff with the six pound dumbbells I have. I'm going to start eating breakfast, then a small lunch when I get home, then dinner. Breakfast will consist of maybe an egg or two and/or maybe an apple.
It goes a lot deeper than just a random bout of bad self-esteem, but I'm not getting into it on a blog that anyone can see, because it come back to bite me in the ass and potentially humiliate me greatly.
But yeah.
Basically I'm unhappy with my gross-ocity. Trying to fix that.

Oh but it goes so much deeper...

~J*~

Partayy in the Hiz-ousseeeee

2008-11-15T21:59:00.001-08:00

So my friend Kara celebrated her sixteenth birthday tonight. I'll start off by saying her house is absolutely ENORMOUS. Iloveit.

But tonight was one of the best of my life. Aside from a few self confidence issues, it was amazing. There were like, twenty people there. Half of us danced for quite a while - including my lesbian friend Rosie, her man candy Jonathan, the birthday girl herself - Kara - her friend Erika, and my friend Mae. Yeahh it was fun. Freakdancing with girls when you're gay is like... not as awkward as you'd think :P

I KISSED A GIRL.
AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

Hahaha.
I don't think she liked it either. It was Rosie, and since she's a lesbian... so yeahhh.

And then we all played truth or dare. We all meaning me, Kara, Mae, Rosie, Jonathan, this guy Michael, and Erika. Kara got dared first to give Jonathan a lapdance and he's quite attractive so yeah :P That was interesting. Then she asked me if I'd do Jonathan and I said yes XD Then I dared Mae to french kiss Kara. I must say, that was hot :P Then Mae dared Michael to do something... it wasn't that exciting. Then Michael dared Jonathan to either:
A) Shake his crotch (wearing only boxers) in Rosie's face or
B) Make his best orgasm sound.
He picked the second one, but he was really shy, so Mae was like "someone should do it first... Joey?" So I did and everyone died laughing. Then someone bent his fingers back because apparently, whatever noise you make when someone bends your fingers back is your sex sound, and it was like "Ouch!" Haha.
Then he asked Erika if she looked at porn and she said yeah, but she doesn't really get to, because her parents are always home XD.
Then she asked me if I ever had sex with a boy and I said no and she asked if I knew how and I was all "UM YES?!" ahhahaha.
Then I dared Rosie to flash everyone, but granted her permission to keep her bra on :P
And then everyone started to leave =[
BUT IT WAS FUN!!

~J*~

I Want to Kill Writer's Block in the Face

2008-11-13T16:00:00.001-08:00

I'm currently writing two things. One is the third part of a series similar to the Anita Blake series - if you've been reading this blog, I'm sure you're familiar by now - and a romance/drama story about two young lovers, Kale and Theo.
And, for the longest time, I've had the worst writer's block in the history of mankind.
Remember how I had that writer's block a while back? I'm not sure it ever really went away. I was in a writing frenzy last night, but I was backing myself into a corner with the story and it would turn into a dead-end. So just before I started writing this blog, I was writing the first of the two stories I just mentioned. I got maybe two pages done.
HELP.
I don't know how.
Any tricks - other than listening to music - to cure writer's block that you know of?
I have an outline for the Anita Blake-ish book, so I know what I wanna do, where I wanna go, but I just can't seem to get from point A to point B.
I think I'm screwed for the time being :[

~J*~

Better.

2008-11-13T14:19:00.001-08:00

Everything's better.
No details provided, other than a lengthy conversation and millions of truths...
But everything's better.
I feel whole again.

~J*~