I Am So Tired: Part Dos

So yesterday, I was supposed to go to my friend Ari's house with my Pet Lesbian Penguin, Becca, and Boyfriend. My mom was going to drive me there so she could see there was "adult supervision," and maybe even meet Boyfriend.

I informed my mom that Ari's parents would not be there, but instead, it would be her aunt - a perfectly responsible adult. But no. It was not Ari's mom, so it was not good enough.

I am tired of not only not being able to see Boyfriend outside of school, but Pet Lesbian Penguin - my best friend. I miss her like crazy and I haven't hung out with her outside of school in forever. This would've been a PERFECT opportunity because it would've been SO much fun.

But once again, mother dearest is "not comfortable." It's like she's trying to find excuses to impede on my social life.

She just makes me so angry sometimes.

I hate the weekends.

~J*~

Guilt ><

My dad's making an effort to get closer to me, I think. Like, he asks - whenever I come over here - if there's anywhere I'd like to go. But I can never think of anything!! And I just feel so guilty. After everything blew up a month or so ago, I mean, I think he does want to make an effort. But I can never think of anything to do, anywhere to go. Just like. Ugh. I don't particularly like my dad a lot of the time - especially not recently - but I just have like, the guiltiest conscience in the world. Ever.

UGHHHHHHHHHH.

This is frustrating.

Oh, and it doesn't help that his wife decided to lecture me on how I'm "fucking away" my high school career half an hour ago. Like, what the eff. The only reason my grades sucked last semester is because my bio and precalc teachers were shitty, and I'm taking two AP classes. But no, apparently, I care more about my social life. And she's trying to make me so cynical, like, "your friends aren't going to be there for you when you need them." I'm not planning on relying on my fucking friends for support. Goddamn. I'm not that fucking retarded.

Just... Ugh.

~J*~

I Am So Tired.

This shit is really getting on my last nerve. I'm not allowed to go out with my boyfriend because my mom isn't fucking comfortable with it. I'm not asking for overnight acceptance. I'm asking for to be able to GO OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND. Is it really too much to ask?

I'm tired of being "restricted." I can only get on the Internet when I'm at my dad's anymore. Mom's telling me she'll let me on if I call Verizon and sort this wifi bullshit out, but I did it last time. So why the FUCK can't she do it? She pays the goddamn bills.

I am so fucking tired and so fucking pissed off. Is it too much to ask... UGHHH. I'm kind of pretty jealous right now because my Pet Lesbian Penguin and two of my other friends - Boyfriend's BFFLs - are over at his house and I'm at my dad's and I'm not allowed at his house and UGHHHH BLOW MY FUCKING LIFE.

I just miss him like crazy. Constantly. I can never see him outside of school. And just. Ugh. Mother dearest needs to CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

I'm really tired of this.

And I'm tired of missing my two favorite blogs :(

((Tia&Mel))

~J*~

One day.

Better.
Today is definitely better.
And things will go as they're supposed to.
One day, there won't be any problems.
:)

~J*~

I Can't Stand This.

I don't blame my mom for not trusting me. But now I'm never going to be able to be alone with my boyfriend. The only way were if my mom were to meet his mom and be sure that his mom was going to be at the house while I was there. And he doesn't want to deal with that. I mean, neither do I, but sometimes you've just got to bite the bullet.

It's not even about sex, you filthy perverts. It's just... wanting to be alone. I just hate this so much. Blah.

~J*~

Wow.

Hi.

I know I've been gone. I've been severely grounded. Long story, and I really don't feel like publicizing it. Suffice it to say my dad now know's I'm a full-blown GAY MALE.

I think he was just unhappy with the fact that I "lied to him" by not telling him sooner. But he doesn't understand that I didn't think I could tell him. It's just not easy, you know?

So yeah.

I've been without the computer for about a month. I got my phone back a week or so ago. This all happened about a month or so ago. So yeah.

That's pretty much all that's happened.

But yes, I'm still alive.

I don't have the patience to catch up with everyone's blogs.

So Same Idea, Different Words and Clever Girl Tia, I'm sorry mostly to you two, because I mainly read only you two.

Except for Nikki. But she never posts.

~J*~