Eff You, Non-Scary Costumes

I honestly don't get it.

Since when did it become okay to wear costumes like Peter Pan or some sort of fairy on Halloween? Honestly? The tradition is to wear something scary to blend in with the souls from the underworld that may be milling about (courtesy my history teacher, Mr. Cain). Something tells me these cute little bumble bees and butterflies don't have much to do with the ways of Hades.

Tsk tsk.

Parents, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for letting your child dress up as Harry Potter and go from door to door. At least the Cullens are VAMPIRES, which are SLIGHTLY REMOTELY SCARY. You grew up in the 70s and 80s and whenever else... that was when Halloween was still scarier than it is now. That was when tradition was still intact.

But no.

It all went to Hell.

Pun only slightly intended.

BFF main girl Abby (as Clever Girl Tia would say) is going as a vampire, with a look that is inspired by Twilight, and slightly reminiscent of 30 Days of night, what with the bloody chin and chest and loads of cleavage... which is actually more Twilight-y.
BFF main "pet lesbian" (not really a lesbian) Sam is... well, I don't know.
Megan, another dear friend of mine that I love more than a gay boy should love a female with female parts, is going as Mrs. Lovett. Hurrah for Sweeny Todd!!!
And I, myself, am going as... something.... with a blank-faced mask... and rubber knife.
MWHAHAHAHAHA!!
Sort of The Strangers meets Scream in a Michael Myers sort of way.
Kay?
Kay.

But yeah. We're probably gonna chill at Sam's, then run around her neighborhood like douchebags for a couple hours. Stairwell Buddies (I'll explain later) Jayson and Becca might be joining us, along with their lesbian lover, Rosie, an AP Psychology class mate of mine. She dressed as something truly scary today - A GIRL!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

But yeah.

Well I guess TTFN, and TTYL.
<3

~J*~

Politics Should Not Be Blogged About... BUT!

You know what really pisses me off? When younger kids say they want so-and-so president to win, when they're only going on what their parents are saying. If they don't watch the news and know what's going on in the world, they should not be stating their opinions. Because I guarantee you, all these preppy freshmen are saying they want McCain to win because their parents want McCain to win, because they're rich and McCain is lowering taxes YET AGAIN on the upper-class and raising them on us middle-class and lower-class folk. My freshman friend's rationale was "if the rich are taxed less, they can pay the poor."
Sorry to tell you, Hayley, but that's not how it works.
Money isn't tossed out of limos by the filthy rich at the peasents begging on the streets, searching for scraps of food. No, us middle class folk - well, our parents in some cases - have to work for the money. The rich people don't just throw the money at us. It doesn't work that way.
Taxes, the war, and the economy in general. Those are the three big topics right now. I know Obama can help with the taxes, and the economy - I've skimmed his plan. HOWEVER, I don't think he's the best commander in chief. I don't think he'd get us out of Iraq in the right manner, and that's what scares me. But it beats the hell out of losing money faster and faster thanks to McCain.
My best friend's father says he's having qualms about Obama because then, when he wins, black people will be walking around like they're all high and mighty.
Not only is this insanely IGNORANT, but untrue. Obama wants equality. Period. And what does it matter if black people are walking around all high and mighty? Have they not got the shorter end of the stick for the past couple centuries? I'm not saying white people or hispanics or anyone DESERVE the shorter end of the stick, but still... I don't know, I'm kind of rambling.
Abortion is a very big topic for me. I do not like abortion. At all. However, I understand in some cases, it needs to be done. Yes, girls should be able to keep their legs closed, and boys should be able to keep it in their pants, but Goddamnit, if a teenager gets pregnant, and she was practicing safe sex in the first place... well, you gotta do what you gotta do. And it fucking sucks. But that's how it goes.
BUT.
I do NOT think abortion should be used as a form of birth control. You fuck, you forget some sort of contraceptive, and you get pregnant. No. You should've been responsible.

I'm going to get spiritual for a second. If you don't believe in God, or some sort of soul/life-force that animates us all, feel free to skip this section.

I believe that when a baby is killed in the womb, that that baby's "soul," or whatever you want to call it, becomes another soon-to-be baby. God would not let a young soul not have a chance on this earth.

[/religion]

Okay.
I think that's it.
Let the hate comments begin.

OBAMA FTW.

~J*~

So where was I...?

Ah, yes. Job applications.

This will be my first job, and I have three applications to turn in. I'm nervous; I really want a job, but I'm scared I won't be good at it. Hell, I'm scared I won't be hired. The three possibilities are:

1) Ace Hardware
2) Starbucks
3) Cheeburger Cheeburgers - a local burger restaurant

I'm fond of lists tonight.

I've used a total of 4000something texts this month because I'm that much of a loser. I actually got caught texting in class for the first time on like, Wednesday. I was texting someone that was in the same class, but was sitting seats away, and the teacher was talking. He just walked over and held out his hand. I was like "ugh" and gave the phone to him. What made matters worse was this 1-800 number that keeps calling me to tell me that I "owe payments on my vehicle" - a vehicle that I don't even have - decided to call as the phone was in his pocket. It took a minute for the original, Japanese One Missed Call ringtone to register, and I was horrified. Gah.

I had more to talk about. Damnit. Oh well.

I'll try to get on!! Pray for connections as good as these!!

~J*~

OH MY GOD HAHAHAH!! That Totally Made My Life

Well, it didn't REALLY make my life. It's one of the few things that made my life, let's put it like that. Well, not FEW things, but.... Okay, I"m going to stop rambling. The only reason I'm rambling is because I've been without blogging for a week now and I feel like the words have been bottled up inside me, threatening to explode into nothingness. What I really need to do is write one of my two stories.

Anygay.

What made my life, you ask?

You know my last blog, how I was ranting and raving about Comcast?

A COMCAST REPRESENTATIVE EFFING COMMENTED!! AHAHAHAHAH!! Go check it out if you don't believe me. But yeah. So I've been without Internet for a week. Comcast was supposed to come yesterday. Good thing my mom called and found out they weren't coming. The chick she talked to was a real bitch. I want to stab her in the face. Not really, but you get the idea. So we cancelled Comcast internet and they sent a rep out here today to pick up the modems and shit. So I'm riding a low connection right now, but it's better than no connection at all :D We're getting Verizon. Again. Eventually.

My aunt finally sent me a birthday present. Verrrryyyyy late. It's a $25 iTunes gift card. Figures, I find out I can actually USE the internet, and I don't remember the stuff I wanted. Blah.

I'm sure I'll have more to post tomorrow. I get the opportunity and I forget what I wanna say... Oh well!!

OOOOOHHHH!!!!

So I logged on Facebook half an hour ago and found I had an inbox message from a writer at the school paper saying she wanted to interview me, because she's doing an article about bloggers. I feel veryveryvery special =D

Okay I have more to talk about.

I've spent most of my $150 from my birthday. I also spent $20 more of my Old Navy gift card. So I have like, $60 left on that. But I spent the money on:

1)Halloween ((the remastered 30th anniversary... I think...))
2)The Strangers ((One of the like, three movies that creeped me out))
3)Sex and the City Movie ((I need to get the series))
4)The Mist ((Hahaha I made Sam watch it; she hated me because of the ending. Watch it to see for yourself))
5) 30 Days of Night ((One of the better vampire flicks I've seen in a while))
6) Anita Blake #10: Narcissus in Chains ((Still reading the ninth one, Obsidian Butterfly))
7) Betrayed ((The sequel to that book Marked. I don't like the writing that much, but I like the book... I can't explain it))
8)Anita Blake: The First Death ((Graphic novel; prequel to series))
9)Anita Blake: Guilty Pleasures - Volume One ((Graphic novel version of the first Anita Blake book... or at least part of it... is my obsession apparent yet?))
10) A blank-faced mask for Halloween ((It's creepy as hell if you ask me... but I don't know if it was worth nine dollars...))

And I got a realllllly comfy hoodie at Old Navy. Yeah. Hawtness.

I have three - count 'em, three - job applications to turn in... Gah. Okay. I'll post another part to this post, because my mom's harassing me for the computer. Kay.

~J*~

For Another Week - Or More - Internet, I Bid You Adieu

So you know how I said my Internet was acting up?
Wait...
Did I say that?
Well it has been for since we've had this new Internet. And the modem finally decide to say "eff the world, I'm going to shoot myself in the motherboard" and died. Suicide is bad, children.
Our Internet provider - the infamous Comcast - was supposed to come on Saturday to fix it. THEY NEVER EFFING DID. So I'm a bit livid. I am able to access the net from my dad's house, but seeing as I'm only over here every other weekend... I swear to god, if Comcast doesn't come next Saturday they will all be tortured to the point of death.
No. Effing. Joke.
Psychopath? Who, me?

So I will be without Blogger, Facebook, AIM, and MSN. Well, I have mobile AIM, but it's not the same... at least I have mobile Twitter, too... BUT STILL.
Ugh.
I feel so cut off from the world.
**proceeds to text everyone**

~J*~

When I Die, My Organs Shall Live On

Okay, so first of all... I know I have not been posting. And I'm sorry. Truly, I am. Please, find it in your hearts to forgive me.

If you don't, you're a homophobe.

Just kidding.

So yesterday, we didn't have school, so I hung out with Joey all day. No, not myself. My FRIEND Joey. The one I've known since I was six. Yeahhhh. That Joey. So yeah. That was fun.

I know you're wondering about the title. Well, if you're following me on Twitter, then you know that at about 11:50 this morning, I received my learner's permit after getting only two questions on the test wrong. You're only allowed to get three wrong, so needless to say, I was terrified. The signature on my permit would've been bad without the shaking hands, but since my hands WERE shaking terribly... it looked like I had a seizure while I wrote it. Not to mention my picture.

I shudder when I see it.

But yes. My organs will live on. Because I am an organ donor. Mwhahahah... I WILL BE IMMORTAL!!!!!

~J*~

Stupid Christianity

Just kidding.
But seriously. I wanted to hang out with one of two friends today and they're both going to be at church at the only available times I could hang out with them. UGHness. Why must you go to a building to worship?
Blah blah.
Not ranting about religion.
Just like... blarggghhhhh. I'm going to be at home by myself with nothing to do as my mom goes out to lunch/dinner with a friend and like, I wanted to go to Sam's, but she's going to church at like, 5:30. My mom's lunch thing is at 4:00. And then my friend Joey - no, I'm not friends with myself - isn't going to be home from church till 4:00, and my mom would have to leave here by 3:30 and it takes like, 5 minutes to get to Joey's house. I mean, I could walk there, but my mom doesn't want me walking on a highway. Even though I have before.
But she doesn't need to know that.
Shhhhh.
So, is it just me, or are you going to miss Clever Girl Tia as much as I am? She's going on vacation, and she might not be able to blog for a while. Depressing, right?
=[
My mom's watching Days of Our Lives, and I have nothing better to do. I mean, I should be finishing reading Duma Key* - fantabulous book, very creepy - so I can read these little R.L. Stine books that Abby gave me so I can read Obsidian Butterfly* - the ninth Anita Blake* novel.
I love Anita.
A bit too much.
More than a gay boy should love a woman.
xD
Okay I'm done rambling.
Buhbyez.

~J*~

* = spoiler warning. Can you tell I like linking things? :D

They Say Their Hearts Go Out To The Families of The Victims, But Do They Have Enough Heart Left?

When I catch the bus, I leave the house at around six. I get to Abby's building at about six-oh-five. She gets down stairs between six-ten and six-fifteen. When I left, I heard helicopters. Two of them. Low. Very, very close, circling, from the time I left to the time we were halfway to the bus stop. As I was sitting, Abby's dad came downstairs and he said he would check the radio and call Abby to tell her if he found anything out. So halfway to the bus stop - a third helicopter had shown up and landed - Abby's dad calls. He tells her there was a terrible, terrible wreck at an intersection about half a mile - or less - from where I live. I could see the lights as I walked up to my bus. The whole northbound side of the road was blocked at that intersection.

As I boarded the bus, which then proceeded through it's planned route, I was thinking about the accident. I was thinking about the people involved. There is no doubt in my mind that at least one person died in - what I have heard to be, but am not sure was -that three-car pile-up. Maybe I'm being morbid, but the odds are staggering.
Then today, in TV Production, our class was shown something made about four years ago. It was about a student at our school who had died in a car wreck. It was very moving, and I felt like crying.
These two things made me think. Outside of the family and friends, who really remembers these people? Or, at least, who takes a moment to remember who they might have been? It doesn't matter if you don't know them. They lost their life. True, they may have been a total asshole, but don't you think that still affects the people that care about them? The fact that they're gone, never to return?
And eventually, everyone just forgets. Everyone but the family and friends. And true, who can remember all the victims of these accidents and what not that happen every five seconds? But we have to realize some things.
Not only is life so incredibly short, but it's so incredibly valuable. Maybe not to ourselves, at some points, when we're not feeling so hot, but to others. We have to remember that those people matter. There are other people that matter, and they deserve to be remembered.
So every time you hear about an accident, a murder, a loss of life... take a moment.
Think.
Remember who they might have been.
Because they matter.

~J*~

Letting Go

I've been holding two particular grudges for a while. One since third grade. The other since ninth. I'll start with the one that came first.

In the third grade, a rumor was started that I was gay. Yes. Third grade. Seven-eight-nine-year-olds shouldn't understand homosexuality, and therefore should not be homophobic, but all hail America and parents not caring what their children watch or listen to. So from third grade through eighth, I was taunted for being a "faggot."

(Of course, I discovered that I was, in actuality, gay, in the ninth grade. But that's for another post, another day.)

And who started this rumor? Let's call her K.

Well, okay, I can't be 100% certain she started the rumor, but her and this other guy that doesn't amount to anything nowadays anyway were the first two who were actually saying this stuff to my face. In eighth grade, we got to choose our high school. There were three possibilities. I chose the more artsy of the three, and only thirty-three kids in my class went to that school. And guess who one of those kids was?
K.
She basically left me alone, but she still talked about me to people in her "circle," especially if I was around. I was tired of it. Eventually - a couple times, as a matter of fact - I went off on her. She didn't get the hint. Eventually, a sweet girl that is/was a friend of K's - I'll call her E - intervened. She basically told both of us to get over ourselves.
Well, needless to say, I still haven't.
That is, until last night.
Sam texted me. Last year, she was failed by her English teacher, and she was mad at him. Last night, in her text, she told me she was tired of holding this grudge against him for something totally out of his control. This got me to thinking. Thinking about how stupid it is to hold a grudge against someone who has nothing better to do than pick on someone because she herself feels/felt like shit. Whatever. I'm over it. I don't like her, but I'm not going to talk about her behind her back. No more gossip about her. None of that. She'll just be another person in the hallway, of no relevence to my life. I'm growing up. I'm over it.

Joining her as another just-a-face-in-the-hallway is a girl I'll call H. I have had problems with this girl since the ninth grade. She dated a friend of mine and then broke her heart - twice, if memory serves. In addition to breaking my friend's heart, she is one of the biggest attention prostitutes I have ever met. She claims to have seen the 9/11 and Virginia Tech incidents in her dreams the night before each had happened. Now, I'm not denying the existence of clairvoyance, but the way she went about it screamed "I want attention." This is not the only instance, but seeing as I no longer want to gossip about this person, that is the only instance I will give.
Anygay, for the longest time, I have talked about this girl behind her back. I've done things in attempts to make her feel like shit, and looking back, I'm not very proud of it. So while I'll never like H, I'm no longer going to gossip about her. She's just someone I don't know, someone of no relevence to me.
I'm done.

~J*~

Omgomgomg!!

Yay.
Unlimited texting.
I can get Twitter and AIM from my phone.
And text like shit.
YAYYY!
That is all.

~J*~

Here's To The Nights We Felt Alive

So the song the title of this blog post belongs to makes me cry, and now I want to listen to the song, but I'm too lazy to find it on YouTube.
The reason behind the title, however, makes me smile. Last night - well, really, afternoon into night - I hung out with Sam and Megan at Sam's house. We were there for like, six hours, and it was the best I've felt all week. As stated in my last post, this whole past week I've been in a complex bad mood. But last night just made everything seem so insignificant. I'm stressed out by school, but friends make it better. I know education is more important than socializing... but friends just make me feel better. I don't know how to explain it, really.
To most, last afternoon/night would seem relatively uneventful. Megan didnt' show up til about an hour later, and then we all just kinda watched TV for a while. Then Sam's mom left for a football game and we all had to keep an eye on Sam's five year old sister. We went into the kitchen and made dinner and danced to rap music. If any hood people had walked by, we would've gotten shot. I was droppin down real low, dancin like a ho, fagalicious, all that Fergie nonsense. But yeah. Then we went up to Sam's room and the two girlygirls drew on themselves with eyeliner and we took pictures with only Sam's blacklight on. Haha it was amazing.
So yeah. I've been in a decent mood all day today, and I'm hoping it'll carry through this week. I'm tired of being all mad-at-the-world-ish. And I'm tired of not being able to write my book. It's the third in this series. I have ideas. I just don't know how to get from point A to point B right now. I have a feeling once I get like, a page done, I'll be able to keep going. I don't know why it's so hard right now, but I'll get through it. I'm gonna stick my jump drive in as soon as I'm done posting this and pray for words to come to me.
Maybe I'll shower first...

~J*~

Playlist - "Save My Life"

Last night, I made a playlist on iTunes called "Save My Life." It consists of All Time Low, Katy Perry, Lily Allen, My Chemical Romance, and Paramore. That is my favorite music. I could live off of those bands/people, and for the past almost twenty-four hours, I have been.
Last night, I was thinking. I was in just such a horrible mood, and I'm not quite sure why. I have been all week, really. It's sort of an angry, depressed mood. I can't quite describe it, as I can't quite describe what happened last night.

As I said, I was thinking. It was about 9:30; a very unusual time for me to be in bed, lights out, not on the phone. I had moved the iPod Bose docking station into my bedroom - unbeknownst to mother dearest - and played my new Playlist on shuffle. So I lay in the dark, and slowly, the songs began to meld together. I wasn't quite falling asleep yet. I was sort of in a trance state. I remembered I had to put the dogs out to go to the bathroom and as I got up, I caught sight of... let's say an object that would've helped me do something very bad. And as I was reaching for this object, a certain song came on.
"Absolutely Nothing" by Lily Allen.
I don't know what it was about the song, but the words and music just washed over me, and I put the dogs out, and sat back down on my bed, just listening, eyes closed. I don't know what it was. It wasn't the words in particular, it was just... some element of the song made me feel overwhelmed, but it wasn't bad. I just sat down and just... I don't know. I can't explain it. I let the dogs back in and lay down. Sam called me at ten, asked if it was a bad time. I told her sort of, and that I would talk to her the next day.
I don't know how to explain the feeling I got. I'm having serious mood swings lately, and I don't know if it's hormones or if I need to see a therapist. If so, we really don't have the money for that. So I'm kind of in a fustercluck there.
I don't know how to explain the feelings I have now, either. I've had the worst writer's block for the past three weeks or so, and it's starting to take its toll. I think that's part of the reason my moods are so fucked up. Or maybe my moods are so fucked up because of the writer's block. Maybe they're both affecting each other. In any case, it's so irritating and it's just been... yeah. I dunno.
[/vent]

~J*~

PS: I need thoughts for my advice blog. Help?

Today Was Fantastic... Until...

So today was the epitome of amazing. That's saying something, since it's a school day. We went to DC for a theater field trip. We saw Romeo and Juliet performed live. The guy that played Romeo was so fucking gorgeous. And my theater teacher thinks he's GHEY. Which is pretty fantastic ;) I shall find him and do naughty things to him.
It was an all-male cast, so people lost it when Romeo and Juliet kissed. I got mad, but whatever. Ignorant people are so not worth my time. I think Romeo and Juliet are together in real life.
I met Jake there. Jake is my Internet friend of over a year and I met him for the first time today. He's amazing. I loofah him.
So I missed school for an AMAZING show, cast led by an AMAZINGLY HOT guy. Why is the word "until" in the title then?

I have no idea. Just a random bad mood. It kind of started when I decided to tell my ex boyfriend that I was hoping he'd use me as a rebound when his now-ex-girlfriend broke up with him. He said he was sorry and I'm like "for what?" Anyway, I managed to get the subject changed. But since said ex-girlfriend is my best friend, I had to tell her, and I told her how I didn't have feelings for him; I just wanted a relationship. She decides to tell me this is pathetic, as if I don't fucking know that already. Rub it in my face, why don't you?
But my anger at her is totally irrational. I've just been pissed at the world lately.
Blah.
[/whining]

~J*~