Give Me Booze and Heavy Sedatives

I had a 78 question study guide for my AP Psychology class due tomorrow. I just did almost all of it. Only almost because I did 12 questions last night, and I skipped some today. Holy shit, that thing inside my head say ouch from thinking about itself. Seriously, this whole "people with split-brains" thing confused the HELL out of me. Like, oh my god(dess). It hurts. The thing inside my head say rub me with fingers to make me go ahh that feel good.
I done now.
Goodbai.

~J*~

Sixteen Starts of Sweet

Oh my God(dess), today was the most fabulousest I've had in a whiiiiile. Don Pablos must HATE us, but not as much as I hate them. My mom decided to tell the waiter that it was my birthday - and then she proceeded to tell the waiter that Abby's birthday was on Wednesday. So while we got a free plate of eight sopapillas (oh Jesus they were a mouthgasm), the waiter proceeded to yell:
"ATTENTION DON PABLOS! WE HAVE TWO BIRTHDAYS TO CELEBRATE TODAY! JOEY IS TURNING SIXTEEN, AND ABBY IS TURNING SEVENTEEN! SO ON THE COUNT OF THREE, WISH THEM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! UNO! DOS! TRES!"
Then the entire restaurant:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"
This was after the waiter asked me if I embarassed easily. Bastard.
He looked like a serial killer anyway.

So we scared the shit out of the Don Pablos patrons. But before that, we sat in the car and annoyed not only my mother, but people on the road by recording them with the camcorder. But mostly, we recorded each other. The videos will be up on YouTube within the week, hopefully. I have a whole, 72 question AP Psychology study guide to do by Monday, so if you don't hear from me by like, Monday afternoon, one of two things have happened:
a) My brain exploded
b) I made it explode with a .45

After Don Pablos, we all went to Abby's place and were loud enough to annoy her mother and father. But we played cards with her dad and laughed so hard we were choking like shyyyt. God, it was fantastic. Prior to the card games, we went out into the pouring rain and ran around and hung out under an overhang like sketchballs. Some ex-druggie asked us if we were doing drugs.

Then after that we came back to my place for cake. I only ate one real meal today. The stuff at Don Pablos. Then I had cookies, chips and dip, and cake. I think my stomach is mad at me, but as long as it doesn't hurt, I'm happy. So we came back here and Joey's mom and dad and little sister hung out for a bit and it was kinda awkward. But fun. So yeah. Fun stuff man. Then Joey left and it was just me, Sam, and Abby, and it was quiet, but it was still nice just hanging out.

It sounds boring, but it really wasn't. OH and my mom thought I called Abby a skank hole. I definitely said something that started with an "s-k," but I don't remember what it was. But it sounded like skank hole, so we have a new inside joke =D

Haha.

I'll post a blog with the link to the videos when I upload them, but no one but us will think they're funny. That's okay, though :p

I don't need a big party. I just need the besties.
Wow I'm corny.

~J*~

OhMyGodYayI'mSoHappy. We Only ALMOST Suck Completely!

Okay, so the only part of the game I realllllly paid attention to was the like, 30something - 40 yard touchdown this one guy made that was fantabulous.
Our school won 19 to 6. It's funny, because this game would've determined who was the worst school in the county - us, or the opposing team. And we won.
Thank God.
So anyway, most of my time was spent being abused - and abusing - Sam, raping Ashley, and making people think I was in a relationship with Abby. It was teeeee-rrific. Best night for a while. I got soaked to the core because it was like, torrentially raining.
Okay, not really. But when you're standing in the rain for like, two hours, you tend to get drenched.

But seriously, tastes of social life are amazing. Tonight was fabulous and made my pre-birth day all the better. Just.. yeah =D
I'm happy.

~J*~

Chelsea Lately is a Wonderful Source for Gossip

Homophobes are disgusting. Like, seriously. I love Chelsea Handler, because she's so pro-gay. But these people are whining about Clay Aiken coming out. One lady was quoted as saying "I can never listen to [Clay] singing 'Oh Holy Night' again, because I know he desiries unholy nights."
And Chelsea just went off and I love her for it.
I'm watching this Chelsea Lately now, and they're at the round table. They were talking about "The Hills," and this guy goes "Hey, MTV, how about some music!" And I cheered, as well as everyone in the audience =D

So that wasn't really gossip, but I just wanted to say it.

I'm so excited for the homecoming game tonight. I get to see Ashley, and hang out with Sam. Ish going to be funz. I have nothing to blog about right now. Haha. So I'll blog later about the game!!! Maybe....

~J*~

Could This Week BE Any Longer?!

Ugh. I want it to be Friday evening already.

Homecoming game is on Friday evening. I'm not a HUGE football fan, but I don't mind a good game. Of course this won't be a good game. The opposing team hasn't one in about 18 seasons, and we'll probably STILL get our asses kicked, because:
a) Coach Nazzaro is a dumbfuck
b) Half the team has quit because of "A"

So yeah. But that's not why I'm going. Mostly, I'm going to see Ashley, my friend/mentor that graduated last year. I miss her so much, and I can't WAIT to see her. She is made of 100% fabulous. The intense fabulous-ity radiating from her pores is enough to scald in white-hot waves of fabulousness.
Yeah.
I make sense.
And what?!
So I get to see her and Sam and yeah. It shall be fun.

Then Saturday is my birthday. I'm hanging out with Abby and Joey (maybe; he hasn't asked his parents yet...) and Sam. Superexcited much? Yes. I am. =D I won't be getting my present from my mom - a guitar - til around Christmas time, but I dont' really care, because I've been dying for a new guitar, and that's all she's getting me, and thats' all I want.
Although, I'm really mad at her right now, because she just made the whole thing with the Homecoming Game situation wayyy more complicated and dramatic than it has to be. She was bitching because I asked Ashley if her mom could give me a ride home, when my mom asked me to ask Sam's mom, because she doesn't know Ashley, and blah blah... So, basically, after getting unneccessarily pissed at me, she goes "I'll just give you a fucking ride home, Jesus Christ." So yeah. At least I'm going....
Blah.



I'd like to take this opportunity to have a moment of "silence" for Hubert Stockhausen, grandfather of my good friend Megan. I know it's hard to do on the Internet, but... just some reverence is all I ask of you.
He passed away this morning of an illness that I'm not quite sure about, so I won't give false facts. From what Megan told me, he was a wonderful man, and he will be severely missed by everyone that loved him - including the people that didn't even know him, like myself. But he is in a better place now, free of suffering, watching over his family lovingly.
Rest in peace.


~J*~

GAY Aiken.

So at about 5:45 this morning, after I got dressed and everything, I sat down on my couch and completed my usual morning routine with the previous night's Chelsea Lately. Sadly, this morning lacked a cup of coffee, because we had no cream or milk.
I know.
That's like, sacriligious.
So I'm settling in and Chelsea Handler - one of the two female celebrity loves of my life - is hosting her usual round table. This particular round table consisted of Loni Love - who I, well, love - some guy, and then a gay guy. They're dishing about the usual celebrity gossip, and then Clay Aiken is mentioned. I begin thinking that it has something to do with the surrogacy he assisted with a while back.

Could I have been more wrong?

Clay Aiken finally came out as a H O M O S E X U A L. Yes. FINALLY! Everyone knew. And if you didn't know, then you deserve to be slapped and then hidden under a rock where you've probably been living since the second season of American Idol.
Chelsea showed the front of this week's issue of People magazine - a picture of Clay Aiken with the more matured form of his sperm donation, with the big yellow letters:

YES,
I'M
GAY!

Jesus. I can just see him sitting there screaming, "YES, I'M A FUCKING FAGGOT! AM I REALLLLY GOING TO BE TORTURED INTO SAYING IT?!"
Sorry, Clay.
Apparently so.
But it's okay, because you're fabulous and a cutie patootie to boot.
=D

~J*~

Blockage of the Writer's Prostate

Ew.
That's a gross title.
But for shizzle, I can't think of ANY topics for my advice blog. Any suggestions? :[
Bah. I have two stories to work on and I don't know if I'll be able to. I'm scared to open them for some reason XD
Gossip Girl's on tonight. Me and hannah1721 still haven't got our collab up XP which sucks... but meh.
Gah, even Katy Perry isn't helping with my blogger's block. Mothereffer.
Help????
:[

~J*~

Wow. I'm So Relieved. And Stupid.

Remember how I was asking advice on this whole friend telling me not to talk to this guy thing?
Yeah.
Ignore it.
It was a huge misunderstanding.
Said friend just had a problem with my reaction, and it's understandable why.
So just ignore it.
So I'm so fucking happy and relieved right now.
=D

~J*~

Wewt @ Today

Today wasn't the disaster I was - for some reason - expecting it to be. As a matter of fact, it was kind of fabulous.

It really wasn't anything special. Family came over. My grandma, her husband that I am ashamed to call my step-grandfather - may his racist, bigoted ass burn in hell within the next ten years - my aunt, uncle, and their two kids, age nine and six. They're so much fun, for little kids. Haha. They keep me healthy when I see them.
I'm about to fucking explode. I ate way too much. Two hotdogs, like, ten pieces of Ledos Pizza -for those of you that don't know what that is (I think it's just a Maryland pizza chain, but I'm not sure) it's small square pieces of pizza. So good. I used to hate it. So I had like, ten plus pieces of that - probably about the equivalent of five "regular" pieces. I had one lemon square - my grandma made them; SO FUCKING GOOD!!! I had a (big) piece of pumpkin crisp. Grandma made that, too. Then finally, the Turtle bars. Those, along with the lemon bars, are a mouthgasm. Sadly, I only got one. I was just too full.
And I guarantee you the three pounds I found out I lost last night came back with reinforcements today.

I played N-64 with my cousins, because I'm so old school. No, I just don't have a Wii yet. Then kicked around a soccer ball.
"What!!?!?! Joey?!?! Sports?!"
Shut up.
Yes.

And now the part you're waiting for: the presents.
For someone who didn't have a real birthday list, I got fucking fabulous gifts.
Kim - $100 Old Navy gift card. I buy all my jeans there, and they have some hot shirts and hoodies. So it's pretty amazing. Oh, and Kim is my dad's wife. I don't care for her. =D
Aunt & Uncle - Best Buy gift card for an un-determined amount. I'm guessing anywhere between $30 and $50. Maybe.
Grandma (and her husband, although I think he just had her put his name on the card)- $150. Cash.
And finally. To quote Katy Perry; "the cherry on top, the pick of the pack, the creme de la crop:"
Dad - Driving lessons for when I get my permit.
Holy shit, right?
Yeah.
So I'm pretty hyped right now.
Even though I feel like I'm about to fucking vomit.
=D

<3

~J*~

Dragon Fruit. It's Like Me. Except I'm Not a Dragon.

As I sit here drinking Dragon fruit flavored Vitamin Water, I contemplate my blog post of last night. Post-pity-party, I feel ashamed of myself for being so whiny and seeking attention from anyone that will listen. So - aside from the question I asked about my friend the the boy she won't let me talk to - disregard my post from last night.
I want to thank my friend Sam (not the pet "lesbian;" this other guy) for putting up with my bullshit. Whenever I have a pity party, I always talk to him. If he's on AIM. But he tries so hard to make me feel better, and that shows how much he cares, and I love him for it. He tells me all these beautiful things, and I can never thank him enough for that.
Sam, you're perfect. You have no idea how lucky Charmaine is to have you.
<3

Moving on.

My little family get-together thing is today. Father's life partner aka wife took a mysterious trip to the grocery store, even though we just went last night.
Hm.
I wonder what she could be getting.
I wonder if it starts with a "b" and ends with an "irthday cake."
But I've been wrong about these things before. So so so wrong. For all I know, it has nada to do with me. I'm just selfish and think the universe revolves around me and I hold it all together.
Correct me if I'm wrong in thinking that?
Because, you know... I am fabulous.
I don't need no man.
...
I just did last night.
>_>
my bed felt superempty :[
BUT I SHALL FIND SOMEONE!!
Or you, reader, could hook me up with a gay friend o' yours. But I'm picky (aka shallow) so it might be difficult.
Aiight.
[/rambling]

~J*~

This is One Party You Don't Bring Brightly-Colored Balloons To...

It's 11:06 PM on Friday, September 19th. I've been moping about not having a boyfriend for about two hours now, give or take. It's pretty pathetic. I get like this once every two or three weeks and I IM people and get attention and compliments and lectures and blah blah blah...
Blah.
Blah blah.
It's all so stupid. Because like... I don't know. I'm lonely. I want someone so bad. And I'm restricted from talking to someone - who lives states away anyway - by a friend, and the upset I felt at that is starting to bubble back up.
Heh, the advice-giver needs advice.
Should I talk to the guy and risk losing a friend, or should I just fuck it all and keep pretending like I don't care?
I've been whining to people since this stupid little pity party started. "I'm a pathetic little faggot wah wah wah." It's gross, and that, in and of itself, makes me pathetic. I just want to be happy and, call me codependent, but sometimes I feel like I need a guy to be happy. That whole "love yourself before you can love anyone else" is total bullshit. Sometimes, people need love from someone else to love themselves in the first place. And it's not so good, but people can't really help how they feel, deep down in their core.
So I sit here at 11:09 PM writing a blog and possibly losing a friend by mentioning them in the process. But really, who are they to decide who I talk to?
Since when do they own people?
Why should I care what they tell me to do?
Because I love them.
Shit.
I forgot about that little detail.
So I'm fucked. Like, seriously, this is the true definition of a clusterfuck. Of course, it wouldn't matter anyway, because the guy that I'm not allowed to talk to... well, nothing would end up happening, and I would've lost a friend for something.
But I can't help but wonder, what if...?

I have family coming over tomorrow for a week-prior birthday thing, as you know. I should be together enough by then to be all smiles and sunshine. These things usually come at night and when I sleep, I feel better the next morning. Maybe I'm just grumpy.
Maybe I'm with my pet "lesbian" in the ranks of the bipolar.
Who knows?
I need a fucking therapist.
I need to talk to Diana again.
(Diana = this life coach lady that I talked to over the phone and we really don't have the money right now.)
I feel like writing, but I don't know if I'd be able to. I'm so tired, and I need to shower something awful. I also need to start working out and losing weight, because I am totally unhappy with my figure - or, rather, lack thereof. No, I'm not saying I'm fat, but I'm like, 20 pounds over where I should be. At least.

Does anyone know how I can send a video to someone not through email so they can use it on their computer? I'm trying to do this collab video with hannah1721 and I can't get the goddamn video to her.
Ugh.
This week has just been fabulous.

~J*~

Collab Gossip Girl Review Thinger!!

Hey all.
This is like, my third post today. Pathetic, right?
Well, eventually - meaning sometime this weekend, before Monday at 8 pm on the East Coast - there will be a new vlog on my YouTube channel (http://youtube.com/UrFavoritePerson1) and a fellow vlogger by the name of Hannah (http://youtube.com/hannah1721). It is a collaborative vlog reviewing the first four episodes of the second season of Gossip Girl. Sort of. More like, her part is the review, and mine is just rambling about the different relationships and stuff... Characters... nothing really much about the plot on my end :P
I don't know, I might redo it before it's finalized.
WE SHALL SEE!!
Haha.
Alright.

Mucho loves,
~J*~

Oh, And By The Way...

Everything is peachy with JC. I overreacted a little bit, and people weren't as upset as I thought they were. I talked to JC and everything is okay.
Just thought I'd give that update uberquick.

~J*~

Having a Birthday Thing A Week Prior Is Stressful...

Okay, so like fifty percent of the children in America, my parents are divorced. Like about fifty percent of those children, I visit my dad on a regular basis - every other weekend to be exact. This weekend coming up is my dad's weekend, and it's also the weekend before my birthday - which is on the twenty-seventh. So I know you're wondering why this is so stressful. Well...

1. I have the hardest time finding things I want. I ended up with a grand total of nine things on my birthday list, not including the obvious cash and iTunes gift cards.

2. I want to hang out with two of my friends, but I might not be able to.

Let me explain.
My dad told me that I could have a few friends over for my birthday. Well, I wanted to invite pet "lesbian" Sam, and my friend whose name also happens to be Joey. That's the only thing we have in common. Wheras I fall in with the out crowd, Joey falls in with the "G" crowd. Wheras I'm a flamer, he's straight as a pole. **Le sigh**
Well, anygay, Joey might not be able to come, and I don't want Sam there by herself with me because that would not only be awkward for her, but for me, because having only one friend attend - that friend being a girl - will cause however many of the family members to show up ask me one question afterwards:
"Is Sam your girlfriend?"
I do not want to deal with that level of awkward-idity. And I don't think my pet "lesbian" would enjoy being one of two teenagers in a group of adults. Unless it'll just be my dad and his replacement wife. I'm not sure yet.

So my point is, it doesn't look like Joey can come, because he's going shooting with his dad that day, and then jumping some guy.
Don't ask.

It doesn't help anything that I have virtually zero guy friends. I mean, there's this guy Brett, but I never talk to him anymore, and that might just be awkward......

:\

~J*~

Sam Got Me Soo Wet ;)

I shouldn't be this excited to have a blog follower, but I am, and I do. Miss Martha Moore:
http://theclassyhousewife.blogspot.com/

That's her.
Right there.
Hojeah.

So today was quite interesting. At lunch, my BFF, pet "lesbian" Sam poured water in my crotch from one of those squirt water bottles. (Okay so she's not really a lesbian, but whatever.) Well, I got her back the exact same way - and then some. There was hair pulling and boob-grabbing. Basically, any standard cat fight. So I got her back threefold. I'm karma's incarnate.
Oh yeah.
=)
Lunch is always fantastic like that. You wish you were us.

Anygay.

Last night I went to the grocery store with my mom, and our cashier happened to be an ex-dick from elementary and middle school. At the cash register behind Billy (the ex-dick previously mentioned) was always-and-forever-tool, Bryan.

Me: *Whispering* Omg, mom, it's Bryan.
Mom: Where?
Me: The register behind this one.
Mom: **looks**
Billy: Huh?
Mom: Nothing, just someone he knows.
Billy: Me? I know him. That's Joey.
Mom: No, not you. If we were talking about you, you'd know it.
Billy: Oh.

Continue reminiscing about elementary and middle school. Billy confused me with my friend, whose name is also Joey, because he asked:

Billy: Didn't you beat up Wycane?
Mom: **Laughs** Yeah right.
Me: **Glaring** That was Joey S.
Billy: Oooooh.

Leaving the store:

Mom: Haven't I heard the name Billy R. before?
Me: Yeah. He beat up Michael T.
Mom: Yes!!! There it is.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that always-and-forever-tool Bryan kept giving me dirty looks. And he's months older than me.
How mature.

So yes, another episode of Joey's exciting life.
<3's and kisses.

~J*~

The Dream Machine... But Not Really.

I've seriously been neglecting my duties as a YouTube vlogger. Not that I'll really be missed. The most views my any of my vlogs have gotten is probably somewhere in the mid-thirties. Bleh.
I really don't like Mondays. They're like... laughing at you, saying "haha, you have four more days of the week," and I'm all, "bitch, I'm not in the mood for your taunting," and Monday's all "I don't care, nyeah nyeah," and I bitchslap Monday across the face.
If only.
As I suck on an ice cube, I worry about my BFF - as clevergirlgoesblog's Tia would say - main girl Abby, because on the way home from the bus stop, she fell and scraped up her knee and she was ooohing and ahhing in pain when I left her.
Not very good. Granted, I didn't see any blood, but still. Pain hurts.

The Dreams (mwahahah...)

I had two weird dreams on Saturday night. I don't remember my dreams very often, but I remember these two, solely for their weird-idity. Try pronouncing that. It's a fun word.

Dream Numero Uno: I was in this guy's van. I met him over like, MyFace or something. I don't know. But I kept thinking he was a pedofile freakazoid and I'd have to go all Ellen Page on him - Hard Candy style - and castrate him after I knocked him out and numbed is cockadoodledoo with a bag of ice. But neigh, he did everything to make me feel comfy-cozy and prove that he was a good thirty-something man that had no intention of going after my teenage flesh.
Ew.

So anyway, he takes me to this place, and there are like, three women and a guy in a doctor's outfit in this waiting-room-style room. We're all chit-chatting, and I'm nervous as a chihuaua (I know I spelled it wrong, get over it) in front of television cameras and I don't quite know why. Across from where me and the pedo-but-not-so-pedo are sitting is a glass wall with curtains drawn from the other side. So then this one chick in the waiting room is all LET'S GO ALREADY!! And I give her this look like, "bitch, be patient." So she storms off and the doctor chico follows her, along with the other one or two females... I think there was only one other. So me and the non-pedo follow and we're on the other side of the glass wall. It's like, an operating room.

So me and the two chicas are laying on these operating tables all of a sudden and I'm all confused and disoriented. Then this nurse comes up with a huge-ass needle and tells me it's anesthesia, then stabs it in the middle of my forehead. The drug isn't working, so she's trying to persuade me I'm falling asleep.

Then I wake up.

Dream Numero Dos: I'm not sure if this was before or after the first dream, but meh, minor details. Anygay, I'm walking home from the bus stop, and there are all these new random apartment buildings in my apartment complex and they keep switching around, but I don't notice until I go in the building that I thought was mine (I live on the fourth floor in a four-story building, and the mailboxes are on the first floor.) So I go down to the mail boxes and see the numbers are all wrong. Then I go out of that building and I see an Asian woman looking all confused and we're like "Que pasa, what's going on, yo?" Except we didn't really say that. We were just confused.

ANYGAY.

We're walking around the apartment buildings that have suddenly multiplied like bunnies in heat... do bunnies even go into heat? Or do the female rabbits just have periods? Is it called "heat" for bunnies?

OH MY GOD.

ANYGAYYYYYYYYY.

Sorry.

So we see these firefighters-slash-construction workers at this building that used to have four stories and I instantly know it's mine. The upper two floors are burnt to a sizzling crisp. The first thing I ask is about my dogs. "Are my puppies okay?!" "Yeah, they're fine."
So I call my mom.
Then I wake up.

I swear to drugs, I'm not on God.

...

Right.

Kay, thanks for reading.

I'ma go read Duma Key now.

Fcken creepy book.

<3

~J*~

Days Of Our BLAHs

I'm stuck on the couch on the laptop, posting a blog, while my dear mother watches Days of our Lives. Dear God, I hate it so. I mean, General Hospital is one thing.

Hi, I'm Joey.
"Hello, Joey."
I have an addiction to... General Hospital. Oh, and the Anita Blake series. And Gossip Girl. But those are two other cans of worms that I'd rather not open.

Although, I must say that EJ Wells is decent to look at...

Anygay.

It's Sunday. Weekends go by too fast. Kind of like a good song. Or a good drink. Yum...
So why is it that I got a comment on my Remembering Sunday a cappella cover that made me feel very bad? :[

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAvR3wcWNzQ

Am I realllly that bad??

**Sigh**

It doesn't matter, I suppose. In any case, I still write fabulously.

Two Blogs - Can't Be Healthy

**Drool**

As Green Day once said, "am I retarded, or am I just overjoyed?

I think I'm a little bit of both. Overjoyed with blogging, and just flat out... well... retarded? Bleh, I don't like that word. Retarded shouldn't be a synonym for stupid. So I'm just stupid. Wacky. Crazy. Hallelujah, let's just call dear Joey INSANE.

So call me impressionable, but the only reason(s) I'm starting a "personal" blog - aside from my advice one - are:

1. http://clevergirlgoesblog.blogspot.com/ she's insanely fabulous
2. all my friends that are bloggers do personal blogs. So I figured why the hell not?

Okay, Blogger is seriously pissing me off with all this editing stuff. So this is just a quick introductory blog. So hi!

Bye.

<3

~Joey*~