The Dream Machine... But Not Really.

I've seriously been neglecting my duties as a YouTube vlogger. Not that I'll really be missed. The most views my any of my vlogs have gotten is probably somewhere in the mid-thirties. Bleh.
I really don't like Mondays. They're like... laughing at you, saying "haha, you have four more days of the week," and I'm all, "bitch, I'm not in the mood for your taunting," and Monday's all "I don't care, nyeah nyeah," and I bitchslap Monday across the face.
If only.
As I suck on an ice cube, I worry about my BFF - as clevergirlgoesblog's Tia would say - main girl Abby, because on the way home from the bus stop, she fell and scraped up her knee and she was ooohing and ahhing in pain when I left her.
Not very good. Granted, I didn't see any blood, but still. Pain hurts.

The Dreams (mwahahah...)

I had two weird dreams on Saturday night. I don't remember my dreams very often, but I remember these two, solely for their weird-idity. Try pronouncing that. It's a fun word.

Dream Numero Uno: I was in this guy's van. I met him over like, MyFace or something. I don't know. But I kept thinking he was a pedofile freakazoid and I'd have to go all Ellen Page on him - Hard Candy style - and castrate him after I knocked him out and numbed is cockadoodledoo with a bag of ice. But neigh, he did everything to make me feel comfy-cozy and prove that he was a good thirty-something man that had no intention of going after my teenage flesh.
Ew.

So anyway, he takes me to this place, and there are like, three women and a guy in a doctor's outfit in this waiting-room-style room. We're all chit-chatting, and I'm nervous as a chihuaua (I know I spelled it wrong, get over it) in front of television cameras and I don't quite know why. Across from where me and the pedo-but-not-so-pedo are sitting is a glass wall with curtains drawn from the other side. So then this one chick in the waiting room is all LET'S GO ALREADY!! And I give her this look like, "bitch, be patient." So she storms off and the doctor chico follows her, along with the other one or two females... I think there was only one other. So me and the non-pedo follow and we're on the other side of the glass wall. It's like, an operating room.

So me and the two chicas are laying on these operating tables all of a sudden and I'm all confused and disoriented. Then this nurse comes up with a huge-ass needle and tells me it's anesthesia, then stabs it in the middle of my forehead. The drug isn't working, so she's trying to persuade me I'm falling asleep.

Then I wake up.

Dream Numero Dos: I'm not sure if this was before or after the first dream, but meh, minor details. Anygay, I'm walking home from the bus stop, and there are all these new random apartment buildings in my apartment complex and they keep switching around, but I don't notice until I go in the building that I thought was mine (I live on the fourth floor in a four-story building, and the mailboxes are on the first floor.) So I go down to the mail boxes and see the numbers are all wrong. Then I go out of that building and I see an Asian woman looking all confused and we're like "Que pasa, what's going on, yo?" Except we didn't really say that. We were just confused.

ANYGAY.

We're walking around the apartment buildings that have suddenly multiplied like bunnies in heat... do bunnies even go into heat? Or do the female rabbits just have periods? Is it called "heat" for bunnies?

OH MY GOD.

ANYGAYYYYYYYYY.

Sorry.

So we see these firefighters-slash-construction workers at this building that used to have four stories and I instantly know it's mine. The upper two floors are burnt to a sizzling crisp. The first thing I ask is about my dogs. "Are my puppies okay?!" "Yeah, they're fine."
So I call my mom.
Then I wake up.

I swear to drugs, I'm not on God.

...

Right.

Kay, thanks for reading.

I'ma go read Duma Key now.

Fcken creepy book.

<3

~J*~